A League of Their Own (1992)

Rosie O'Donnell: Doris Murphy - Third Base

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Mae Mordabito : Evelyn. Evelyn. I'm sorry but I have to kill your son.

  [begins to chase Stillwell with a bat] 

  Doris Murphy : Mae! Mae! Don't use my bat! Use Marla's. It's heavier.

• Jimmy Dugan : Evelyn, could you come here, you got a second? Which team do you play for?

  Evelyn Gardner : Well, I'm a Peach.

  Jimmy Dugan : Well I was just wonderin' why you would throw home when we got a two-run lead. You let the tying run get on second base and we lost the lead because of you. Start using your head. That's the lump that's three feet above your ass.

  [Evelyn starts to cry] 

  Jimmy Dugan : Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying! THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!

  Doris Murphy : Why don't you give her a break, Jimmy...

  Jimmy Dugan : Oh, you zip it, Doris! Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pigshit. And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game. And did I cry?

  Evelyn Gardner : No, no, no.

  Jimmy Dugan : Yeah! NO. And do you know why?

  Evelyn Gardner : No...

  Jimmy Dugan : Because there's no crying in baseball. THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! No crying!

• Mae Mordabito : [During the league's publicity drive]  What if at a key moment in the game my, my uniform bursts open and, uh, oops., my bosoms come flying out? That, that might draw a crowd, right?

  Doris Murphy : You think there are men in this country who ain't seen your bosoms?

• Dottie Hinson : [Upon seeing Marla drunk and singing with the band]  What did you do to her?

  Doris Murphy : Nothin', we just gave her a dress.

  Mae Mordabito : And a lotta liquor!

• Mae Mordabito : [at Tryouts]  Ya know they got over a hundred girls here. So some of yous are going home.

  Kit Keller : What do you mean some of us?

  [Doris throws a fast ball at Kit, which Dottie catches with her bare hands] 

  Mae Mordabito : OK, some of them are going home.

  Doris Murphy : Hey, how'd you do that?

• Doris Murphy : Okay, let's make like a bread truck and haul buns ladies.

• Doris Murphy : I knew it, ya killed Ms. Cuthbert!

  Mae Mordabito : We'll bury her, I know a guy!

• Doris Murphy : Hey Mae, Mae, your date's here.

  Mae Mordabito : How do I look?

  Doris Murphy : Where'd you get that dress?

  Mae Mordabito : Borrowed it.

  Doris Murphy : It don't fit you, Mae, it's too tight.

  Mae Mordabito : I don't plan on wearing it that long.

  Doris Murphy : Ohh. I don't know why you get dressed at all.

• Doris Murphy : [Mae is in confession; a thud is heard]  It's the second time he dropped that Bible since she's been in.

  [Mae comes out, reverend looks shocked] 

  Doris Murphy : Mae. What did you say?

  Mae Mordabito : Everything.

• Doris Murphy : Evelyn. Your kid ate the line up.

• Kit Keller : [while the team is stranded out on the road]  Dottie, you going to come with us?

  Dottie Hinson : Where are you going?

  Mae Mordabito : A road house called the Sud's Bucket.

  Dottie Hinson : Ah, no. You know, I'm married...

  Doris Murphy : C'mon Dottie, you ain't on the farm any more, live a little bit!

  Miss Cuthbert : Girls, girls, please! Mr. Goosatelli shan't be returning.

  [Goes back on the bus] 

  Dottie Hinson : Hey, what are you going to do about Ms. Cuthbert? How are you going to get past her?

  Kit Keller : Mae's going to poison her dinner.

  Dottie Hinson : WHAT?

  [Girls laugh] 

• Dottie Hinson : Hey, hey, hey, you guys, come on! How hard can it be to make a lineup? Come on!

  Doris Murphy : Oh yeah? Well, why don't you do it, Oregon?

  Dottie Hinson : Me?

  Mae Mordabito , Doris Murphy : [Together]  Yeah, you!

  Dottie Hinson : Alright, Mae, center field, lead off.

  Mae Mordabito : She's good!

• Jimmy Dugan : All right, everyone, let's listen up now, listen up. Hey! I don't know what that kid is doing, but get him away from the tape! Stilwell Something important has just happened. I was in the toilet reading my contract, and it turns out, I get a bonus when we get to the World Series. So, let's play hard, let's play smart, use your heads.

  Doris Murphy : [quoting him]  That's that lump three feet above our ass, right, Jimmy?

  [laughter] 

  Jimmy Dugan : Some more prominent than others, Doris.

• Doris Murphy : What are you lookin' at?

  Dottie Hinson : Nothing.

  Doris Murphy : That's right, nothin'.

• Doris Murphy : You know how we met?

  [referring to Mae] 

  Doris Murphy : My father owned a dancehall upstate, you know, Vinnie's Dancehall Deluxe. She was one of the dancers, I was the bouncer.

• Charlie Collins, Racine Coach : Okay, come on. We got a lot to do, let's settle down. You are the first...

  [Sees Shirley Baker over at the lists] 

  Charlie Collins, Racine Coach : Honey, are you supposed to be here or are you on the cut list?

  [Shirley doesn't respond] 

  Charlie Collins, Racine Coach : Look, I'm sorry, but if you're cut, you have to leave the field.

  Shirley Baker : [Almost in tears]  Mm-hmm

  Charlie Collins, Racine Coach : Well, are you cut? Oh, just look on the list. It's either Rockford, Racine, Kenosha, or South Bend.

  [Shirtley turns to the lists, starting cry, as Helen Haley approaches her] 

  Helen Haley : Hi.

  Shirley Baker : Hi.

  Helen Haley : Um, can you read, honey?

  Helen Haley : Alright. What's your name?

  Shirley Baker : Shirley Baker.

  Helen Haley : Shirley Baker. Let's have a look.

  [She looks at the Rockford Peaches list first and spots Shirley's name] 

  Helen Haley : This is you.

  [Shirley laughs happily] 

  Helen Haley : You're with us. You're a Rockford Peach.

  Charlie Collins, Racine Coach : [Smiling]  Go join your team.

  [Shirley joins the Rockford Peaches, sitting down next to Marla] 

  Charlie Collins, Racine Coach : Now, you are the first girls in the All American Girls Profession Baseball League. My name is Charlie Collins. I'll be managing the Racine team when the season begins.

  [Racine team cheers] 

  Charlie Collins, Racine Coach : Now, at the end of practice today, you're all gonna be fitted for your uniforms and this is what they're gonna look like. Pretty darned nifty if you ask me.

  [Model walks up on the platform in a wool uniform complete with a miniskirt] 

  Unnamed Ball Player #1 : You can't slide in that!

  Doris Murphy : Hey, that's a dress!

  Mae Mordabito : It's half a dress! Excuse me, but that's not a baseball uniform!

  Doris Murphy : Yeah, what do you think we are? Baseball players or ballerinas?

  Kit Keller : [to Dottie]  It's awfully short.

  Dottie Hinson : Short? I'm gonna have to squat in that thing.

  Unnamed Ball Player #2 : I can't wear that. My husband'll kill me.

  [Ira Lowenstein approaches] 

  Helen Haley : Excuse me, sir.

  Ira Lowenstein : Ladies...

  Shirley Baker : Excuse me.

  Ira Lowenstein : If you can't play ball in this, you can't play ball with us. Now, there are 38 girls on a train ride home, who'll play in a bathing suit, if I ask them.

  Mae Mordabito : Yeah, well, there are no pockets for my cigarettes.

  [Doris laughs] 

  Ira Lowenstein : Ah, there is no smoking. There is also no drinking and no men.

  [Mae gets up, angry, ready to leave, but Doris pulls Mae back down against her will, with Mae sitting back down, frustrated] 

  Ira Lowenstein : . All of your activities will be approved through your chaperones. And you will also be taking regular classes at Charm and Beauty school.

  Doris Murphy : For what?

  Ira Lowenstein : Every girl in this league is going to be a lady.

  [Marla looks scared] 

• Doris Murphy : [Balancing the bottom of a baseball bat on the tip of her index finger]  Hey, Mae.

  Mae Mordabito : What?

  Doris Murphy : Come here and look at this.

  Mae Mordabito : Wait a second, Doris!

  Doris Murphy : I can't wait any longer, so get up!

  Mae Mordabito : [Tying her shoe, looks up]  So.

  Doris Murphy : Yeah, so, I ain't done yet. Watch.

  [Flips bat, lands on the opposite side in the palm of her hand] 

  Mae Mordabito : That's it?

  Doris Murphy : Yeah, you can't do it.

  Mae Mordabito : I could do it. How long you been working it on it?

  Doris Murphy : What? Took me about year. Not counting them 2 months I was in the hospital, though. Bat hit me right in the head. Bam!

  Mae Mordabito : Really?

  Doris Murphy : Yep.

  Mae Mordabito : You had to have knocked your behind 'cause that looks really swollen.

  Doris Murphy : [Dropping the bat in a tough manner, confronting Mae with a whiny tone]  Hey, what the heck kind of a think is that to say to me, Mae?

  Mae Mordabito : I'm sorry.

  Doris Murphy : That ain't funny.

  Mae Mordabito : I'm sorry. I'm just nervous all right - -

  [They see Dottie, Kit, and Marla staring at them] 

  Mae Mordabito : - -What are you looking at?

  Doris Murphy : Yeah, what are you looking at?

  Dottie Hinson : Nothing.

  Doris Murphy , Mae Mordabito : Yeah right, nothing.

  Kit Keller : All these girls gonna be in the league?

  Mae Mordabito : [Taking a puff of her cigarette and exhaling the smoke]  You wish.

  Doris Murphy : Yeah, you do wish.

  Mae Mordabito : They're gonna have 4 teams, 16 girls to a team.

  Dottie Hinson : [to Kit]  64 girls.

  Doris Murphy : Yeah, what are you, a genius?

  Mae Mordabito : You know, they got over 100 girls, so, um, some of you are gonna have to go home.

  [They start to walk away, talking to each other] 

  Mae Mordabito : Come on, Doris. Some people are real jerks.

  Kit Keller : What do you mean some of us?

  Mae Mordabito : Do it.

  [Doris throws a baseball at Dottie, who catches the ball with her bare hands, impressing Doris and Mae] 

  Mae Mordabito : Okay, some of them are going home.

  Doris Murphy : Hey, how did you do that? How did you do that?

  [Dottie, Kit, and Marla walk on their way, with Dottie tossing the ball back to Doris, as Doris is still talking to Dottie] 

  Doris Murphy : . Hey? You caught that? Hello?

  Mae Mordabito : Doris? Come on. Don't take such offense.

  Doris Murphy : She caught it with her bare hand.

  Mae Mordabito : I know. Ssh.