'Allo 'Allo! (1982–1992)
Sam Kelly: Captain Hans Geering
Photos
Quotes
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Capt. Hans Geering : Do you not see that if you kill him with the pill from the till by making with it the drug in the jug, then you need not light the candle with the handle on the gateau from the chateau!
René : Simple plans are always the best.
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[repeated line]
Capt. Hans Geering : [shouts] 'tler!
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Col. Von Strom : Ah, Helga. What can we do for you?
Capt. Hans Geering : Judging from past experience, very little.
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Capt. Hans Geering : Rene, your wife has many talents.
Col. Von Strom : Singing isn't one of them.
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[in order to save René from the duel with Monsieur Alphonse, the colonel intends to have a military practice at the site and kill him in the crossfire]
René : I don't know, is it possible to just wound him?
Capt. Hans Geering : With a 25lb shell, 'just wounding' may be difficult.
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René : Let me tell you a legend. It is said that these champagne glasses are modelled on the bosom of Marie Antoinette.
Capt. Hans Geering : Ho-ho, they should have modelled them on Helga's bosom, then we'd all have got a bigger drink.
