'Allo 'Allo! (1982–1992)
Nicholas Frankau: Flying Officer Carstairs
Photos
Quotes
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[Maria has disguised the airmen as waitresses, so René mimes to them that they must not go upstairs with the Germans]
Flying Officer Carstairs : [turning to Fairfax] What was all that about?
Flying Officer Fairfax : I think he means that if Hitler comes in and wants us to go upstairs with him, we're not to go.
Flying Officer Carstairs : Is he like "that," then?
Flying Officer Fairfax : Oh, yes.
René : [to the others] And they must not speak.
[Rene turns to the airmen and mimes that they must be silent]
Flying Officer Carstairs : What does that mean?
Flying Officer Fairfax : Well, if we do go upstairs with Hitler, we're not to tell anyone.
Flying Officer Carstairs : Well, it's hardly the sort of thing you boast about, is it.
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[the airmen have entered the cafe disguised as pallbearers, when a squad of Germans arrive]
Flying Officer Carstairs : What's going on?
Michelle Dubois : [English accent] Jerries. Keep quite or you'll be shot.
Flying Officer Fairfax : [looking down] We're wearing the right clobber for it.
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Flying Officer Carstairs : Look at my knees
[lifts up his "skirt"]
René : Why is he showing you his knees?
Michelle Dubois : He was a scrubber at ze nunnery.
René : No wonder they threw him out.
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[the airmen have come downstairs, minus their mustaches, dressed as serving girls]
Flying Officer Fairfax : Carstairs, you're standing like a tart again.
[Carstairs drops his arm to his side]
Edith : [looking the airmen up and down] No one will suspect them. They look just like the staff.
René : Edith, the Germans *take* the staff upstairs from time to time. If they took these two upstairs, do you not think that their suspicions will be aroused?
Yvette Carte-Blanche : We are much more attractive. They will take us.
René : And suppose there is a rush?
Flying Officer Carstairs : What are they saying, Fairfax?
Flying Officer Fairfax : I've no idea - it's all in French.