Mega Ape (2023)
3/10
20 ape days later.......
31 December 2023
Warning: Spoilers
A team of animal rights activists unknowingly releases a genetically engineered ape from a top secret research facility.

The simian soon grows to enormous.....even Mega sized, and embarks on a rampage of total destruction in Hollywood......

Well what do you expect?

Mega Ape is lots of fun, but it's all for the wrong reasons. It features Tom Sizemore, who is in it for all of five minutes, and to be honest, I don't even think he knew that he was in the film. He gets out of a car, hides in the most blatantly obvious place, and then he buys it.

Then we are left with Bai Ling, and the man with the easiest job of the film, and with a face faker than the titular beast Mel Novak

Ling spends her time in the film stressing out about nothing, and Novak spends his time in the film sitting down, pretending to talk to someone on the phone. And he has an amazing face.

The rest of the film features really really bad actors screaming at the sky and hilariously getting bit in half by Mega Ape. And then it ends.

It's mercilessly short, and the opening credits are so long, because they knew there wasn't a lot of the film.

It's rubbish, but I urge you to see it, because it's a wonderous **** show.

I can't wait for the sequel, and I hope Mel Novak returns with his beautiful face.
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