Intrinsic Value Films.
What's that - like a discount warehouse where movies are subsidized by power brokers who want a seat on the board of a larger company?
What year is this movie? Is this just riding off the back of 'The Witch' (2015) and its success?
We're in Jack the Ripper times where Irish people have fled to NY and God-fearing pilgrims believe in that whole witch hunting nonsense where any rebel was put on trial for having unholy thoughts. Oh, it's one of these movies? (If only this era could see 2023.)
I'm glad I wasn't around this silly period of time as I'm left-handed and no doubt all these soldiers of God would have come for me and put me on trial.
Did this era really exist?
Wow, I think my Nana would love this movie as it's more for her time but she's six feet under.
Hmm, from what I can gather, Mary and the housemaid are attracted to each other and some night guard becomes their sponsor in exchange for cooked bakery products. He even provides them primitive pornography.
God, this movie is like an anvil that just sits there and does nothing.
It's just a clump. A lump of mass. A monolith obstruction of nothing.
None of the other characters have names. There's no electricity. There's no Wi-Fi, or top 40 countdown.
There is not one other variant of emotion expressed by any of the actors in this movie. It's all the same drab, miserable, demeanour by all involved throughout and it is this very expression displayed when I pick up DVD movie covers today as there's no appeal with any available attraction.
It's like today's movies are released with communists in mind only. Nothing is exciting today in this over-moderated, controlled, society we live in. Everything's been formed, or altered, to suit those socialist killjoys.
I guess we can count our lucky chickens we didn't live in this time back then. Was it that bleak?
Why don't they just pack up and book passage to California, or Florida, and catch a wave and get out of this gloomy part of Salem? This movie's so depressing. North Carolina is just down the road a piece. I'm sure a horse drawn carriage would have gotten them down there by two days. Surf City here we come, so long NY.
What's the running time on this? 89-minutes.
This movie will indoctrinate the art of depression on a twit if they were to watch it multiple times, resulting in one becoming the biggest black belt clunk of all time.
Some old ducky passes away, but returns later without explanation. The killer from 'Town That Dreaded Sundown' shows up with a bag of dead chickens. So, the dead mother superior figure is reincarnated as a bag of dead chickens? She starts twitching her finger while feathers are plucked out of dead poultry.
A person runs the risk of being clinically diagnosed with depression from watching this. (At times I found myself staring at the floor of my room and wondering why I still possess a 70's Penthouse magazine.)
The last thing Mary does see is her entire family dying violently from the out of date milk she used in their cup of tea.
The plucked, dead, twitchy chicken woman from earlier comes back from the dead and blinds Mary with her fingernails.
Mary's sent to the gallows at the end and they don't even extend her the courtesy of any final words.
It'd be cool if Darth Vader were to come along and save Mary at the last minute by blazing up his light zapper gizmo and striking all these fool's down. He could be like Mario and save the princess in the castle.
The movie ends peacefully with Mary swinging on a rope, convicted of what again? Um, a silly primitive book of blasphemy, I believe?
To hint that there will be a part two, Mary does the twitchy finger chicken woman thing as well which implies that um, she wants her feathers plucked so she can return as a bag of dead chickens, too.
Do I have that right?
Well, there you go, movie lovers, if you wish to waste an hour and 22-minutes of your time then watch whatever this movie is called.
Who's this movie for? Your dead grandparents if they're still alive. If they are, I offer my deepest condolences.
The question has to be asked - have I watched anything decent in 2023 yet? Anything?
There's no defense against the depression of 'The Last Thing Mary Saw.' It will drag you down Hamburger Hill, and beyond, to a pit of misery, in a time of bible thumpers and self-righteous do-gooders who thought they knew it all.
The sun will shine tomorrow and hopefully wash away this movie's grime that clings to you in its hope of dragging you down to its level.
What a dinosaur of a movie that's not fit for 2023.
What's that - like a discount warehouse where movies are subsidized by power brokers who want a seat on the board of a larger company?
What year is this movie? Is this just riding off the back of 'The Witch' (2015) and its success?
We're in Jack the Ripper times where Irish people have fled to NY and God-fearing pilgrims believe in that whole witch hunting nonsense where any rebel was put on trial for having unholy thoughts. Oh, it's one of these movies? (If only this era could see 2023.)
I'm glad I wasn't around this silly period of time as I'm left-handed and no doubt all these soldiers of God would have come for me and put me on trial.
Did this era really exist?
Wow, I think my Nana would love this movie as it's more for her time but she's six feet under.
Hmm, from what I can gather, Mary and the housemaid are attracted to each other and some night guard becomes their sponsor in exchange for cooked bakery products. He even provides them primitive pornography.
God, this movie is like an anvil that just sits there and does nothing.
It's just a clump. A lump of mass. A monolith obstruction of nothing.
None of the other characters have names. There's no electricity. There's no Wi-Fi, or top 40 countdown.
There is not one other variant of emotion expressed by any of the actors in this movie. It's all the same drab, miserable, demeanour by all involved throughout and it is this very expression displayed when I pick up DVD movie covers today as there's no appeal with any available attraction.
It's like today's movies are released with communists in mind only. Nothing is exciting today in this over-moderated, controlled, society we live in. Everything's been formed, or altered, to suit those socialist killjoys.
I guess we can count our lucky chickens we didn't live in this time back then. Was it that bleak?
Why don't they just pack up and book passage to California, or Florida, and catch a wave and get out of this gloomy part of Salem? This movie's so depressing. North Carolina is just down the road a piece. I'm sure a horse drawn carriage would have gotten them down there by two days. Surf City here we come, so long NY.
What's the running time on this? 89-minutes.
This movie will indoctrinate the art of depression on a twit if they were to watch it multiple times, resulting in one becoming the biggest black belt clunk of all time.
Some old ducky passes away, but returns later without explanation. The killer from 'Town That Dreaded Sundown' shows up with a bag of dead chickens. So, the dead mother superior figure is reincarnated as a bag of dead chickens? She starts twitching her finger while feathers are plucked out of dead poultry.
A person runs the risk of being clinically diagnosed with depression from watching this. (At times I found myself staring at the floor of my room and wondering why I still possess a 70's Penthouse magazine.)
The last thing Mary does see is her entire family dying violently from the out of date milk she used in their cup of tea.
The plucked, dead, twitchy chicken woman from earlier comes back from the dead and blinds Mary with her fingernails.
Mary's sent to the gallows at the end and they don't even extend her the courtesy of any final words.
It'd be cool if Darth Vader were to come along and save Mary at the last minute by blazing up his light zapper gizmo and striking all these fool's down. He could be like Mario and save the princess in the castle.
The movie ends peacefully with Mary swinging on a rope, convicted of what again? Um, a silly primitive book of blasphemy, I believe?
To hint that there will be a part two, Mary does the twitchy finger chicken woman thing as well which implies that um, she wants her feathers plucked so she can return as a bag of dead chickens, too.
Do I have that right?
Well, there you go, movie lovers, if you wish to waste an hour and 22-minutes of your time then watch whatever this movie is called.
Who's this movie for? Your dead grandparents if they're still alive. If they are, I offer my deepest condolences.
The question has to be asked - have I watched anything decent in 2023 yet? Anything?
There's no defense against the depression of 'The Last Thing Mary Saw.' It will drag you down Hamburger Hill, and beyond, to a pit of misery, in a time of bible thumpers and self-righteous do-gooders who thought they knew it all.
The sun will shine tomorrow and hopefully wash away this movie's grime that clings to you in its hope of dragging you down to its level.
What a dinosaur of a movie that's not fit for 2023.