Review of Homebound

Homebound (II) (2021)
5/10
Read This And Save Yourself 90 Minutes
6 December 2022
Warning: Spoilers
This is one of those weird, ominous little movies.

I don't know what to say about it other than I watched it because I wanted to know what the hell was going on.

Starts with a couple going to see the man's children. Mom is supposed to be there, but she's no where in sight. Although she texts the man to stay; and if he decides to leave the three young children, they will be fine on their own.

The children are hostile toward the new bride and refuse to speak to her. They live in one of those huge stone houses with too many rooms that apparently the English like. It seems to be in the middle of no where.

Dad and the three kids brutally kill a goose for that night's dinner. This upsets new bride.

Dad says it's no big deal.

And dad and the three young kids chug down a ton of whiskey, champagne, and wine that would make a long-time alcoholic passout.

The dog eats something from the table and is either vomiting or just vomited and is eating it.

Dad says not to worry.

We don't see the doggie again.

Littlest girl buries something in the woods. We see a lot of crosses.

Unattractive and weird af, dad, and new bride slobber on each other with smacking kisses in front of the kids -relentlessly.

They take a swim in the pool. It looks like it's freezing out. I hope there were heating lamps out of sight for the actors. Son tries to drown the new bride.

Dad says he was only playing.

Later bride goes snooping and sees mom's phone in her bedroom.

So the kids grab onto bride and dad and start screaming, say I do!

Bride smacks a kid off her.

Dad says, they were only playing.

Bride says, no, they hurting me. Bride tells him about the phone.

Nobody's talking, so dad decides to drown his son in the sink. Bride gets him off the son and she finally buys herself a clue and decides to escape and runs outside.

Dad runs after her, screaming, you're my wife, which, apparently, he thinks means you got to stay through thick and thin until death to your part.

Middle daughter takes a shovel and beats dad's brains in.

Where's Mom? Well we kind of know within 20 minutes of the film.

I guess curiosity does kill the cat and bride tosses away her clue and follows middle daughter back into the house.

Mom is behind a big wooden door down in a very creepy basement. We know this because every now and then a camera focuses on that door and makes creepy music play.

Bride, who never recovered her clue, stupidly follows the kids into the room.

But mom is dead isn't she? Judging by the flies buzzing, I'm guessing yes. It's dark af, so we can't be sure.

Kid tells sobbing bride, who's probably wishing that she didn't lose her clue that it's time for her... Fade to black.

You're left to wonder, what the f* did I just watch?

The End

And, no, you will not get those 90 minutes back.
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