Review of Allied

Allied (2016)
6/10
Dunno.... Weird.
13 November 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Not sure what to think about this movie. It's a beautiful movie. Marion Cotillard's acting is amazing. I cried a lot toward the end. Yet I didn't really like the movie.

There's something off about Brad PItt. I don't know what. There's something off about his acting. There's even something off about his face. He looks like he's wearing a mask that prevents his face from being expressive. His speech sounds like his mouth is constantly full of oatmeal.

Speaking of speech, his French is correct, but his accent is terrible. I cringed when Marianne said, "it's pure Québécois". No, it's not, lol. It's just a thick American accent. No French person would ever believe for even one second that this guy is French (or Québécois). In real life, the minute he opened his mouth, he would have been arrested. This kind of bothered me the whole time during the Casablanca part of the movie.

But the German spy speaks flawless French in the most Frenchyfrench way, without the tiniest hint of a foreign accent. Okay.

Marianne goes through a three week vetting process but the people vetting her don't show her picture to anyone who met her in the past? Really?

The whole "you must execute her" also felt strange to me. If she's a German spy (and a reluctant, coerced one at that), wouldn't it be a lot more useful to turn her into a double agent and have her feed false information to the Germans? I'm sure she would have gladly accepted to do that.

An openly lesbian couple in the 1940's? Doubtful.

There's even the completely unnecessary but mandatory sex scene that every American movie has. In a car. Of course. Reminded me of Titanic, where even on a ship, they manage to have sex in a car. Same here. Even in the Sahara desert, they manage to have sex in a car. Rolleyes. Yawn.

I don't know... It's a good movie with good cinematography and all that. I can't say it's a bad movie, but all I could see while watching it were the points that didn't make sense to me.

I even got so bored in the middle of it that I checked out the reviews on imdb to see if someone else was annoyed by the French accent that wouldn't fool anyone in real life. And during the silly Dieppe trip, I kept fast forwarding.

Recommended for a rainy Sunday afternoon with nothing else to do.
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