Rommel (2012 TV Movie)
3/10
This Ain't No Desert Fox!
15 October 2022
Paging James Mason! Paging James Mason!

You know, the Desert Fox wasn't a perfect movie. But at least James Mason looked like he was having a good time. He got how Rommel could light up a room, throwing together a battle plan in the desert like a master chef cooking up a snack for his best friends. He got how Rommel could be in the hospital sick and in trouble with Hitler, and still look forward to having coffee with his wife. He got how Rommel could look a couple of real scumbags in the eye, accept his own pointless murder, and still walk off looking and feeling like a patriot.

None of that happens in this movie. Rommel looks depressed all the time, except when he's confused. His wife is portrayed as a real witch. The story keeps getting sidetracked, and minor characters keep stealing the spotlight from our hero. There's the pretty French countess -- is she really with us or with them? There's General Speidel -- is he supposed to be Clark Kent or Jiminy Cricket? Von Stauffenberg's cousin Elvis shows up, makes a big speech, and then vanishes. The whole movie wanders around and around and ends up nowhere.

Now the Desert Fox only had a couple of scenes of Rommel working his magic in the desert. Even though it was called the *Desert* Fox. But Rommel is even worse. It's called "Rommel" for God's sake! I mean, it's not exactly a biopic of the man's whole life. It doesn't even show him in the desert! I mean, come back to the desert again, Erwin honey.

And come back James Mason -- all is forgiven!
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