I didn't even make it through the intro of the main characters. Seriously the worst of the worst Christmas movies and I love bad movies. Also, I had to rewatch the intro multiple times and the title in the film is now "F6:Twister" yet it shows up in the guide as Christmas Twister. I did not watch more than 10 minutes. That. Bad.
Where to begin? I held no real expectations for this movie, but I expected at least a tiny bit of, I don't know, common sense? Not even 10 minutes in and already I can't with this movie. I'll tell you about the opening scene:
Mom, dad, teen daughter in car with Texas plates (this is important), stopped to get gas. Mom wants to pull over and sleep but dad says they'll be in Tulsa by morning. Daughter is hungry so dad suggests mom and her go to the diner for food while he gets gas. Daughter asks if she can have hot cocoa and then never orders it. Radio blares a weather alarm (that annoying sound nearly EVERYONE knows) and daughter asks what it is. Ok, I get she was supposed to be asking what the emergency was but it came off like she didn't even know what the noise was. It's a storm and maybe a tornado? I honestly can't remember if they even said that part but definitely a bad storm. Everyone moves to a shed in the same small lot as the gas station and diner (think trailer park close, that's how close everything is). A shed, well more like a storage container. Dad has to convince his teen daughter to move to the secure location because I guess she's scared? Maybe they'll explain that later. Dad has to hold the door shut with a rope. Yep. In a tornado that blows up the gas station yet not the diner or shed. I've tried to figure this out. The tornado last like 2 minutes and they decide to just walk out to check out the damage. Ok. Who doesn't bring an emergency radio or have one in the safe area? This is not a place (Texas) that doesn't ever have tornadoes so it's not like they'd be unprepared considering it's a diner like 6 hours from Dallas, I checked. Also, not sure but gas station people might have blown up or it was self-serve. Next, who walks out 2 minutes after a tornado? You're from Texas going to Tulsa. You know the dangers. Oh wait, yeah, we do stupid stuff but come on! People who have lived through these kinds of storms and tornadoes aren't going to believe the tornado isn't capable of returning. The movie is that stupid but not the audience. Damn. And the cactus look faker than the accents sound. Not to mention they are apparently traveling early morning (see next note) yet not dressed for comfort because hey, let's put them in the most "Texas" looking outfits we can. Tight, ripped jeans tucked into dress cowboy boots with a heel. It's still 6 hours to Tulsa. And yet, no one is wrinkled? Maybe they just left?
Next scene. Let's introduce the main couple. *yawn. It's 3 something in the morning yet...sunlight is streaming through the blinds. Tornado just hit small town of Dublin, TX, so dad has to go. Hands his wife an anniversary card that looks like he printed it off the home printer. Something about problems and another man, who knows. They aren't interesting enough to care but, yay now we know 1) husband needs to brush his teeth and 2) some guy is too nice to the wife. Also, she has to wake him up to answer his phone (on vibrate) and complains about the time, yet answers her phone like its normal to talk to people at 3 am. I can't even watch anymore. I wanted to watch a dumb movie but wow. This is just entirely too bad.
-5 at best. Wow. But Casper's hair was looking good. Best I can give you.
Where to begin? I held no real expectations for this movie, but I expected at least a tiny bit of, I don't know, common sense? Not even 10 minutes in and already I can't with this movie. I'll tell you about the opening scene:
Mom, dad, teen daughter in car with Texas plates (this is important), stopped to get gas. Mom wants to pull over and sleep but dad says they'll be in Tulsa by morning. Daughter is hungry so dad suggests mom and her go to the diner for food while he gets gas. Daughter asks if she can have hot cocoa and then never orders it. Radio blares a weather alarm (that annoying sound nearly EVERYONE knows) and daughter asks what it is. Ok, I get she was supposed to be asking what the emergency was but it came off like she didn't even know what the noise was. It's a storm and maybe a tornado? I honestly can't remember if they even said that part but definitely a bad storm. Everyone moves to a shed in the same small lot as the gas station and diner (think trailer park close, that's how close everything is). A shed, well more like a storage container. Dad has to convince his teen daughter to move to the secure location because I guess she's scared? Maybe they'll explain that later. Dad has to hold the door shut with a rope. Yep. In a tornado that blows up the gas station yet not the diner or shed. I've tried to figure this out. The tornado last like 2 minutes and they decide to just walk out to check out the damage. Ok. Who doesn't bring an emergency radio or have one in the safe area? This is not a place (Texas) that doesn't ever have tornadoes so it's not like they'd be unprepared considering it's a diner like 6 hours from Dallas, I checked. Also, not sure but gas station people might have blown up or it was self-serve. Next, who walks out 2 minutes after a tornado? You're from Texas going to Tulsa. You know the dangers. Oh wait, yeah, we do stupid stuff but come on! People who have lived through these kinds of storms and tornadoes aren't going to believe the tornado isn't capable of returning. The movie is that stupid but not the audience. Damn. And the cactus look faker than the accents sound. Not to mention they are apparently traveling early morning (see next note) yet not dressed for comfort because hey, let's put them in the most "Texas" looking outfits we can. Tight, ripped jeans tucked into dress cowboy boots with a heel. It's still 6 hours to Tulsa. And yet, no one is wrinkled? Maybe they just left?
Next scene. Let's introduce the main couple. *yawn. It's 3 something in the morning yet...sunlight is streaming through the blinds. Tornado just hit small town of Dublin, TX, so dad has to go. Hands his wife an anniversary card that looks like he printed it off the home printer. Something about problems and another man, who knows. They aren't interesting enough to care but, yay now we know 1) husband needs to brush his teeth and 2) some guy is too nice to the wife. Also, she has to wake him up to answer his phone (on vibrate) and complains about the time, yet answers her phone like its normal to talk to people at 3 am. I can't even watch anymore. I wanted to watch a dumb movie but wow. This is just entirely too bad.
-5 at best. Wow. But Casper's hair was looking good. Best I can give you.