Of all the horror movie genres, vampire flicks have always been my least favorite, even as a child. Why? Well the things just don't come off as all that scary or hard to defeat, never mind that the guy usually portrayed as the head vampire often comes off as, shall we say, something of a "man's man" and a little light in the loafers, making it that much harder to swallow that chicks would even want anything to do with them. The folklore surrounding vampires is just dumb, superstitious nonsense that I can't relate to on any level. The real world is full of blood suckers and they should all be as easy to get rid of as the creatures portrayed in these movies.
With the above statement in mind, I'll attest that Graveyard Shift pretty much checks every box for what annoys me about these movies. You have some greaseball guy that looks like an extra from "Cruisin'" playing the skahwry, skahwry vampire and, worse yet, he's one of those sensitive vampires with a heart of gold who only goes after chicks who want to die anyways. How nice. Since there is no action or horror, the film attempts to be stylized and arty, but it's just boring trash and nothing really happens until the last 15 minutes and, even then, it's still awful. None of the characters are likeable, the dialogue at times is over-the-top pretentious, and there is nothing going on that you can relate to on any level so you're just watching people move around, waiting for this bore fest to end. Apparently, there is an audience for this junk, as people keep making movies like this, but I'll never get the appeal. Honestly, I can't think of a single nice thing to say about this movie and, unbelievably, it appears they made a sequel. I think I'll pass.
With the above statement in mind, I'll attest that Graveyard Shift pretty much checks every box for what annoys me about these movies. You have some greaseball guy that looks like an extra from "Cruisin'" playing the skahwry, skahwry vampire and, worse yet, he's one of those sensitive vampires with a heart of gold who only goes after chicks who want to die anyways. How nice. Since there is no action or horror, the film attempts to be stylized and arty, but it's just boring trash and nothing really happens until the last 15 minutes and, even then, it's still awful. None of the characters are likeable, the dialogue at times is over-the-top pretentious, and there is nothing going on that you can relate to on any level so you're just watching people move around, waiting for this bore fest to end. Apparently, there is an audience for this junk, as people keep making movies like this, but I'll never get the appeal. Honestly, I can't think of a single nice thing to say about this movie and, unbelievably, it appears they made a sequel. I think I'll pass.