2/10
Enter the Wild and you'll fall asleep from boredom
13 July 2019
Warning: Spoilers
I gave it 2 stars for only 2 reasons - first, they are right about that pine (not actually a pine) being the rarest tree in the world and second, they were accurate as to the type of place it's found in (Wollemi National Park).

The actors were fine but they were given garbage to work with - it was so stupid and slow I found it amazing that they were given money to make it. I wouldn't pay the director to film a wedding! Though the actors were fine, given that it's a B movie, their character interactions were, to put it mildly, inexplicable. Why did the guy dump the girl (he gave no real reason)? Why did she then come on to his friend? Why was the drug dealer so passive-aggressive? Why did they seemingly sit around forever (having a compass!) and indulge in inane chatter? How in heck could they maintain the energy level needed to pack out an injured drug dealer without food for DAYS? Why did one of them just decide he was heading out on his own to find the pine after they were lost? Why did he take one of the women's camera? We never saw it again. It turns out this moron did find the pine and then slipped and broke his back, and his friend finds him dying - hey, served him right because he took the mountaineering rope. Speaking of which, the group later spots the rope hanging off a cliff (which was a heckuva find considering they were lost and had no idea where he was) and never questions HOW that guy was able to scale the cliff with his bare hands and why did he leave the rope?

Look, the reason they got lost was because they all descended over a cliff using that mountaineering rope and not one of these morons made sure the last guy down had the map. Not only that, the last guy (the same fool who found the tree) only realized he'd left the map up on the cliff AFTER they'd gone some distance - he could have gone back up the rope (his friend does it later in the movie) so why didn't he check for the map before they left the rope!. So these fools decide that since one of them knows the way so well (apparently memorizing it) that they'll push on ahead. The drug dealer correctly wanted to get out at the nearest gully but these bozos pushed on ahead. Eventually the drug dealer decides to steal the compass, abandon them because they're looking for the camera thief and they stop him and he gets injured in a freak accident, so of course they now have to haul him out.

Even bettah - after the movie has tortured you with stupid people, stupid conversation, awkward situations and slow-as-molasses scenes they up the ante by this ending: the last shot is of a white plume of smoke from a fire they built in the middle of the wilderness without having spotted anyone. I'm serious - the credits roll after that so you have no idea if these clowns were rescued. Personally I hope they won the Darwin Awards.
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