Here is a horror anthology flick from the icon of Brazilian horror, José Mojica Marins - better known to cult film fans as Coffin Joe.
The first of the three stories is called "The Dollmaker". The titular doll maker lives with his four ethereal daughters who run a family business making supposedly very exquisite and life like dolls. Particularly, the eyes of the dolls get complimented. Unfortunately, the one we see doesn't look that amazing, but whatever. The dollmaker is assaulted by four criminals who rape his sexy daughters, all of whom take a liking to the eyes of the criminals. Can you see where this is going?
This story features amusingly unconvincing gunfire, where people are supposedly blasted with a shotgun and we get reaction shots from the victims who seem to find the gunfire less painful than a stubbed toe. Being shot with that gun at that range would have blasted a hole in them, and easily knocked them off their feet.
There's also some scant nudity in this story, but not much else to recommend it.
The second story, "Tara" is also the lamest. The plot of "The Dollmaker" was light on the ground, but this one is even simpler, and has no dialogue. Basically a young woman is murdered on her wedding day by a knife wielding debutante. She has been followed by a vagrant balloon seller, who opens her coffin so that he can fondle the body's feet. The end.
The last story, "Idelogy", features Marins in an acting role, though not Coffin Joe. He plays a professor who looks like a gypsy demonologist, with shiny black clothes and dangling talismans. He also has a dreadful wig, and of course still has his trademark mono-brow.
The segment begins with a television interview in which Marins, as the professor, speaks some mystical rubbish which is not believed by his fellow guests, who then come with him to his home, where he seems to have some fetishists just hanging out and having sex. The first couple are just making out while a guy rubs them with a clothes brush - BORING - but the next couple show someone having his flesh pierced with needles and it looks real.
The sophisticated naysayers whom Marins brought to his house are then captured by henchmen - what kind of professor has henchmen? The kind with fetishists having sex in his house all the time, I guess - and of course made to observe some more rituals while Marins tries to prove whatever rubbish he was talking about at the beginning of the segment.
They watch a gaunt man, wearing only a loincloth (and a lot of fake blood), strapped to something like a stretching rack while other guys crowd around him and eat him.
The guests are appalled. "It's a crime! It's murder!"
Marins explains that he's "Benevolent", because the Bible says something about feeding the hungry.
We, and the guests, then get another demonstration, with a female victim this time. Of course, she's young and attractive, and has her clothes ripped off. Surprisingly, Marins doesn't show any nudity this time. A guy picks up a bottle, helpfully marked "ACID", and throws it over her, and the acid seems to turn to tomato sauce.
Finally, we have some hot substance poured into a man's mouth, and then - what looks worse from our perspective - an ugly older woman kissing him. Poor bugger.
Surprise surprise, the nutty professor also locks up his two guests, while philosophising tediously about nothing in particular.
The ending features a series of shots showing people eating human limbs around the dinner table.
Throughout particularly the last two segments, "The Strange World of Coffin Joe" features strange shots and weird editing, giving it the appearance of an avant-garde film, or at least a film that wants to be. Maybe because of that we are invited to excuse the tales for actually being pretty lame? You might, but I'm not sure if I can.
I have been trying to avoid spoilers in this review, but it is one of those movies that I think I could describe everything that happens without really spoiling anything. Each story has a set up that doesn't really go anywhere surprising. I'll click "yes" just to be on the safe side.
The first of the three stories is called "The Dollmaker". The titular doll maker lives with his four ethereal daughters who run a family business making supposedly very exquisite and life like dolls. Particularly, the eyes of the dolls get complimented. Unfortunately, the one we see doesn't look that amazing, but whatever. The dollmaker is assaulted by four criminals who rape his sexy daughters, all of whom take a liking to the eyes of the criminals. Can you see where this is going?
This story features amusingly unconvincing gunfire, where people are supposedly blasted with a shotgun and we get reaction shots from the victims who seem to find the gunfire less painful than a stubbed toe. Being shot with that gun at that range would have blasted a hole in them, and easily knocked them off their feet.
There's also some scant nudity in this story, but not much else to recommend it.
The second story, "Tara" is also the lamest. The plot of "The Dollmaker" was light on the ground, but this one is even simpler, and has no dialogue. Basically a young woman is murdered on her wedding day by a knife wielding debutante. She has been followed by a vagrant balloon seller, who opens her coffin so that he can fondle the body's feet. The end.
The last story, "Idelogy", features Marins in an acting role, though not Coffin Joe. He plays a professor who looks like a gypsy demonologist, with shiny black clothes and dangling talismans. He also has a dreadful wig, and of course still has his trademark mono-brow.
The segment begins with a television interview in which Marins, as the professor, speaks some mystical rubbish which is not believed by his fellow guests, who then come with him to his home, where he seems to have some fetishists just hanging out and having sex. The first couple are just making out while a guy rubs them with a clothes brush - BORING - but the next couple show someone having his flesh pierced with needles and it looks real.
The sophisticated naysayers whom Marins brought to his house are then captured by henchmen - what kind of professor has henchmen? The kind with fetishists having sex in his house all the time, I guess - and of course made to observe some more rituals while Marins tries to prove whatever rubbish he was talking about at the beginning of the segment.
They watch a gaunt man, wearing only a loincloth (and a lot of fake blood), strapped to something like a stretching rack while other guys crowd around him and eat him.
The guests are appalled. "It's a crime! It's murder!"
Marins explains that he's "Benevolent", because the Bible says something about feeding the hungry.
We, and the guests, then get another demonstration, with a female victim this time. Of course, she's young and attractive, and has her clothes ripped off. Surprisingly, Marins doesn't show any nudity this time. A guy picks up a bottle, helpfully marked "ACID", and throws it over her, and the acid seems to turn to tomato sauce.
Finally, we have some hot substance poured into a man's mouth, and then - what looks worse from our perspective - an ugly older woman kissing him. Poor bugger.
Surprise surprise, the nutty professor also locks up his two guests, while philosophising tediously about nothing in particular.
The ending features a series of shots showing people eating human limbs around the dinner table.
Throughout particularly the last two segments, "The Strange World of Coffin Joe" features strange shots and weird editing, giving it the appearance of an avant-garde film, or at least a film that wants to be. Maybe because of that we are invited to excuse the tales for actually being pretty lame? You might, but I'm not sure if I can.
I have been trying to avoid spoilers in this review, but it is one of those movies that I think I could describe everything that happens without really spoiling anything. Each story has a set up that doesn't really go anywhere surprising. I'll click "yes" just to be on the safe side.