Review of Link

Link (1986)
7/10
Link goes ape.
14 June 2019
American zoology student Jane Chase takes a job working as assistant to English anthropologist Steven Philips (Terence Stamp). At Philips' remote cliff-top home, she is introduced to the other inhabitants: chimps Voodoo and Imp, and Link (who I think is supposed to be a chimp, but is actually played by an orangutan), an ex-circus ape who dresses as a butler and likes to smoke cigars. When Philips decides to have the ageing Link taken care of (i.e. put to sleep), the hairy beast fights back, killing its owner and terrorising Jane.

Philips isn't a very nice man: he continues to dress Link in human clothes and perpetuates the ape's smoking habit, and he treats all of his animals cruelly. Worse still, he makes cups of tea in the microwave, which is just plain wrong. In short, he deserves a nasty death. Jane, on the other hand, is played by the lovely Elisabeth Shue, and although she probably makes tea with ice and lemon, she can be forgiven because she is American and hot. She will clearly survive to the end. It's predictable stuff, but still a whole lot of fun thanks to smart direction from Richard Franklin (Psycho II), who gradually builds the pace to an exciting climax, great performances from the apes (kudos to trainer Ray Berwick), and a wonderful locale (the house is magnificent). There's even a nude scene from Shue, the shapely beauty ogled by Link (and who can blame him?) as she prepares for a bath.

Even the film's less-than-perfect moments prove highly entertaining: there's a wonderfully tacky scene transition from a pair of spectacles to the view from a pair of binoculars; we have dreadful use of The Kink's classic Ape Man; a 'dummy falling down a well' death scene is hilarious; also try not to laugh when Shue slaps the monkey (NOT a euphemism); and don't forget about Link lifting a transit van and pushing it over a cliff (just how strong is he supposed to be?). It's the stuff that bad movies are made of, but also enjoyable ones. The only thing I genuinely didn't like was Jerry Goldsmith's score, which is way too derivative of his music for Gremlins.
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