4/10
Another stinker from Santiago.
6 April 2019
Wheels of Fire is another low-budget rip-off of The Road Warrior from Filipino director Cirio H. Santiago, packed with poorly executed action scenes, diabolical acting, and cruddy costumes and props (one motorbike is customised with what looks like plastic halloween pitchforks), all of which only serves to further illustrate just how brilliant George Miller's iconic movie actually is.

Gary Watkins plays Trace, a fearless warrior who takes on the evil Scourge (Joe Mari Avellana) and his ruthless gang after they kidnap and gang rape his sister Arlie (played by big-breasted blonde Playboy playmate Lynda Wiesmeier). On his mission, Trace teams up with tough female fighter Stinger (Laura Banks), telepath Spike (Linda Grovenor), and a dwarf who speaks a bizarre language (this character probably has a silly name as well, but I don't recall what it was).

With a race of subterranean albino cannibals and a cult of struggling survivors who are building a rocket to the planet Paradise, this one gets pretty silly at times, but Santiago's uninspired direction, the dreadful dialogue, and dismal performances ensure that boredom is never far away. Wiesmeir is game for being strapped topless to the hood of a speeding car, and Trace flame-throwing countless bikers is fun for a while, but the bulk of the film is pure post-apocalyptic poop.

3.5 out of 10, rounded up to 4 for IMDb.
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