Love Bite (2012)
4/10
British Lad Culture meets the horror genre... yet again!
26 March 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Pros: Best suited for young British viewers as the humour is tailored for their tastes. Cons: Everybody else will be switching off at this kind of British Lad Culture humour.

The Story: In a small Scottish seaside town, four teenage boys are trying desperately to lose their virginity, but the advice that their so-called 'expert' Kev is hopelessly bad. One of them, Jamie, runs a B&B with his pothead mother & dreams of going out with one of their guests, the mysterious American tourist Juliana. But at the same time, a series of disappearances of local youths has been occurring & another of Jamie's guests - the eccentric Sid, who claims to be a werewolf hunter - has attributed these to a werewolf hunting virgin flesh & claims that Juliana is a werewolf. Jamie ignores the claims but with his continued inability to get laid & some of his friends starting to vanish, he begins to fall for Juliana's charms despite growing evidence that she is not who she claims to be.

In Britain, there exists a social disease that has infected the vast majority of British male youth. It is called "Lad Culture" & is a mix of boorish stupidity, mild misogynistic sexism, pro-alcoholism & all-round general jackassery that makes them do stupid things & cause several kinds of trouble without ever learning from their mistakes. This kind of 'humour' started in the 1990s with several British men's magazines that deliberately put out this kind of content but masked it with a false humorous context that is designed to deflect indirect criticism.

Love Bite, a 2012 Scottish B-grader from Andy De Emmony, is a pretty good example of what to expect from this kind of 'humour' (I keep putting that term in quote marks because it is being used in an abstract manner to show that the humour in this film is not good humour). The film is a British version of American Pie but without the rampant sexuality that the source material is known for & filled with the British Lad Culture content that several youth-related films from this location are known for, coupled with a horror story about a virgin-eating werewolf.

As it stands, Love Bite is mildly interesting as a tale of a young virgin who can't get laid (probably as a result of his timidness & the bad luck of having a circle of friends who all get their relationship advice from a young 'expert' who clearly has no idea of how to get laid, instead spouting all sorts of chauvinistic advice that is offensive to anybody who actually has a brain) & who does fall for a mysterious American girl who might actually be involved in the disappearances of several of his friends (but not in the way you think). The idea of a werewolf preying on virgins is interesting but is not a consistent concept with traditional werewolf lore & is badly applied here - the werewolf is not terribly fussy about who it kills & in the end the revelation of the werewolf's identity seems to be arbitrarily applied to make up for the fact that we can't seem to guess who it is. However, I did like the way the film ended, with the hero & his American girlfriend (who is actually a werewolf hunter) both being infected with the werewolf affliction & losing their virginity while being werewolves (featuring a funny image of them going at it doggy-style) & a blackly humorous end coda. As for the acting, Jessica Szohr gives a professional performance as the mysterious American tourist whose secret identity provides the counterpoint to the story. Ed Speleers is good enough to carry the show while Timothy Spall is amusing as the hapless werewolf hunter & Kierston Wareing provides some interest as the cop's sexually promiscuous daughter.
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