1/10
I've Been to Funerals That Were More Fun Than Sitting Through This Movie
3 October 2017
It's like Terence Davies sets out to make movies that will challenge you to stay awake through them. If I do, do I win something? Because I should.

After the mournful and glacially paced "The Deep Blue Sea," I didn't think a film could come along that would more effectively numb me into somnolence. But lo and behold, here comes "A Quiet Passion," and by the same filmmaker, no less!

"A Quiet Passion" tells the story of Emily Dickinson, who, as played by Cynthia Nixon, was about the most. miserable. person. ever. to spend time with. You know that friend who has the ability to suck the fun out of absolutely any situation? That's our Em. She'd be the girl who would join a group of friends (if she had any) at a football game and then spend the entire time complaining about the pointlessness of football. According to this biography, Dickinson was a frustrated artist who held people to unrealistically high moral standards and refused to accept the slightest weakness in anyone. This made her a riot to be around, as you can imagine, and caused her to die -- shocker!! -- alone and miserable.

The film is funereally paced, and consists of one monotonous scene after another in which Dickinson gets her knickers in a twist about one thing or another and yells at whoever happens to be in the room with her. You might think so much yelling might at least give the film an ounce of energy, but you would be wrong. I've never been so excited in a movie to see a main character start exhibiting symptoms of a mysterious disease, because I knew then that it wouldn't be long before she died and the movie would be over.

All I can say is thank God for the lovely Jennifer Ehle, who plays Dickinson's sister as a human being you might want to actually have a conversation with without wanting to stab her or yourself in the eye with the butter knife.

Grade: F
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