The Cool Ones (1967)
5/10
The Uncool Ones promises much, delivers little
17 August 2016
As a fan of 60s pop culture, I wanted to like this movie. Sadly, this wasted opportunity of a film feels like a rejected script for a proposed Elvis/Beach Party movie. (The director did two Elvis vehicles prior to this.) The muddled, meandering screenplay is by a failed, one-time writer and a studio hack who penned "Ski Party" and both "Dr. Goldfoot" flicks. This film doesn't know what it wants to be. It's a little of this, a bit of that, and a whole lot of bland filler in between. At least we have some pretty people, including a young Teri Garr, in colorful mod outfits doing Toni Basil dance numbers now and then.

The promising opener is a take-off on pop music programs like Hullabaloo and Shindig. A cute blonde go-go dancer (Debbie Watson) yearns to be the next Nancy Sinatra (supposedly, Sinatra passed on the lead role but her singing is heard in some songs). Enter scene-chewing Roddy McDowall. He has a few amusing scenes as wildly eccentric music producer Tony Krum -- a likely parody of legendary whack-job Phil Spector. His fawning assistant, played by the wonderful, sadly neglected Nita Talbot, almost steals the film in her one big seduction scene with lunkhead Gil Peterson. She has comic timing and a sophisticated sex appeal that blows everyone else off the screen. Debbie Watson is fine, but she's one of those generic, wholesome starlets who -- like Deborah Walley, Susan Hart, Pat Priest, Chris Noel, et al. -- provided charming eye-candy in countless '60s comedy/musicals but left no lasting impression.

After McDowall's grand entrance, the film almost becomes a zany spoof of absurd pop-music fads and instant stardom. But this only lasts about five minutes. The gutless, aimless script has nothing more to say about the music business and shifts to the sappy romance between Watson and human Ken doll Gil Peterson. They meet cute and cavort about, performing several song-and-dance numbers for the rest of the near-plot less story. Then it just abruptly ends due to a lack of ideas. Or maybe they ran out of film stock. No tension, no drama, no witty parody, and no resolution to speak of.

The hackneyed romance, cornball dialog, and groan-inducing attempts at humor are, as said before, on par with a Beach Party flick or a standard Elvis musical. (Bit players Talbot, Garr, and Angelique Pettyjohn all did Elvis films, by the way.) There's a couple decent rock songs with twangy, Byrds-like guitar riffs and some vocals by Nancy Sinatra. Also surprising to see a segment playing "This Town" while Watson wanders about in her trendy vinyl cap. Sinatra did a near-identical music video for this song in her "Movin' with Nancy" TV special that same year.

Recommendation: The only entertainment value is for lovers of campy 60s fashions. The mod outfits, mostly Mary Quant-style knock-offs, already seem a bit dated for 1967. The Palm Springs dance number that begins in a tram-car and continues on a mountaintop is great fun (and shows off Teri Garr). McDowall and Talbot elevate the weak material they're given. If the film had focused on them and the music industry this could have been a decent comedy instead of a watered-down, girl-meets-boy musical. If you like this genre, you'd be better off watching "Speedway" (with Elvis and Sinatra) or "Movin' with Nancy".
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