Review of Gums

Gums (1976)
3/10
Jaws has got a lot to answer for!
24 July 2016
Jaws (1975) was such a monumentally successful movie that it created the blockbuster model, still used by Hollywood today. It also led to a multitude of movies that followed its basic story template like Grizzly (1976) and Snow Beast (1977), while it spawned a whole host of films featuring water-based monsters. So perhaps it isn't very surprising that it also inspired a porn parody. Gums came out in a period that I am reliably informed was called the golden age of porn; I say reliably informed, as, before a very kind fellow IMDb user sent me a copy of this one, I hadn't actually seen any films from this 70's sub-genre, despite being all too familiar with the names of several which have become so famous as to have become ingrained in cultural reference. Gums seems to be a decidedly more off-beat and obscure offering from this period. It focuses on a killer mermaid who kills unsuspecting male swimmers by lethal blow jobs.

The production values are, needless to say, truly bargain basement. It's to all intents and purposes amateur hour all the way. Not necessarily a surprise though seeing as porn films haven't been very well associated with quality control, beyond the hardcore action. It was kind of surprising though to see just how limited a supply of sex scenes there actually were though. The focus is squarely far more on comedy, although I would volunteer the unpopular view that it wasn't necessarily very good comedy. One thing is for sure is that is most certainly is not very erotic, with the males in particular a staggeringly hideous looking bunch of individuals and I'm not entirely sure which demographic is being serviced by the humping dog scene. What cannot be denied by anyone though is that this is most definitely a very strange movie. There are two somewhat disturbing glove puppets who feature quite prominently latterly in the film, for reasons that elude me; the character who plays the Quint equivalent, called Captain Carl Clitoris, is an SS uniform wearing Nazi, again for reasons that simply elude me. This guy is played by Brother Theodore, who I previously knew as the guy who did some narration for the Al Adamson schlockfest Horror of the Blood Monsters (1970). His performance was commendably committed for something like this and it's that, coupled with the sheer oddball elements that give this one its interest value. In order to pick up the points of interest in this one, you've got to be willing to wade through a lot of tripe though!
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