"You can't be serious. SEVEN STARS?"
Yeah.
"Are you serious?? What in this movie is worth seven stars? The acting?"
Hey, Janet Leigh and James Mason aren't bad.
"And which of them plays Prince Valiant? Wait, it was neither of them. It was Robert Wagner, right? How was his delivery?"
Not great, but did you see his physical work, leaping around and on horses and wall hangings and swinging around on ropes and all that stuff? Lots of that! That was fun to watch, no?
"Granted, he or his stunt double earned his pay. Do you think he did well as a Viking prince, with his coal-black hair and New York-ish accent?"
Does that matter? Would you prefer he speak Old Norse with subtitles?
"Say, how about Sterling Hayden as Sir Gawain? What accent would you call that? Oklahoma?"
Um, maybe Kansas. Let's call it non-traditional casting. Look, these are not historical personages!! There's nothing they "really" sounded like!
"How about historical verisimilitude?"
Don't use such big words.
"You realize that King Arthur (or his legend, whatever) and jousting and Viking raiders come from different historical periods over a span of about 800 years?"
Uh..
"And how about this heavy-handed Christian triumphalism where they decide that since Christianity is the true religion you should have no qualms about burning your enemies to death?"
You can't say that's not a contemporary viewpoint.
"Too true. So, okay, look, what did you really like about this film?"
The landscapes were nice.
"Yes, the Croatian coast is pretty. And?"
Some of the plotting was okay.
"Like the part about where Gawain thinks Aleta loves him?"
No. I was thinking of the ring business.
"The ring with the chess knight symbol on it? Puh-leez."
And the big swordfight scene! I have always really liked it. It really gave the impression of guys trying to hammer each other to death with their iron swords, clanging and crashing ...
".... beating up each other's aluminum shields...."
Yeah! Really crushing them. And the singing sword!
"Wait, when you say you have 'always' liked it, when did you see it first?"
On NBC Saturday Night at the Movies I think. In 1961 or so.
"When you were eight?"
My inner child is still eight.
"I should be glad you didn't give it eight stars."
Deal with it.
Yeah.
"Are you serious?? What in this movie is worth seven stars? The acting?"
Hey, Janet Leigh and James Mason aren't bad.
"And which of them plays Prince Valiant? Wait, it was neither of them. It was Robert Wagner, right? How was his delivery?"
Not great, but did you see his physical work, leaping around and on horses and wall hangings and swinging around on ropes and all that stuff? Lots of that! That was fun to watch, no?
"Granted, he or his stunt double earned his pay. Do you think he did well as a Viking prince, with his coal-black hair and New York-ish accent?"
Does that matter? Would you prefer he speak Old Norse with subtitles?
"Say, how about Sterling Hayden as Sir Gawain? What accent would you call that? Oklahoma?"
Um, maybe Kansas. Let's call it non-traditional casting. Look, these are not historical personages!! There's nothing they "really" sounded like!
"How about historical verisimilitude?"
Don't use such big words.
"You realize that King Arthur (or his legend, whatever) and jousting and Viking raiders come from different historical periods over a span of about 800 years?"
Uh..
"And how about this heavy-handed Christian triumphalism where they decide that since Christianity is the true religion you should have no qualms about burning your enemies to death?"
You can't say that's not a contemporary viewpoint.
"Too true. So, okay, look, what did you really like about this film?"
The landscapes were nice.
"Yes, the Croatian coast is pretty. And?"
Some of the plotting was okay.
"Like the part about where Gawain thinks Aleta loves him?"
No. I was thinking of the ring business.
"The ring with the chess knight symbol on it? Puh-leez."
And the big swordfight scene! I have always really liked it. It really gave the impression of guys trying to hammer each other to death with their iron swords, clanging and crashing ...
".... beating up each other's aluminum shields...."
Yeah! Really crushing them. And the singing sword!
"Wait, when you say you have 'always' liked it, when did you see it first?"
On NBC Saturday Night at the Movies I think. In 1961 or so.
"When you were eight?"
My inner child is still eight.
"I should be glad you didn't give it eight stars."
Deal with it.