4/10
Kate Bosworth keeps her figure while scarfing down McDonald's
2 April 2016
Don't be fooled by the title. There was nothing heavenly about this film. It's a corny, hokey, clichéd, dull, slow, and an inaccurate melodrama about a young minister, Don Piper (Hayden Christensen) who suffered traumatic injury in a car accident. The paramedics who arrive at the scene cannot find a pulse and leave him unattended awaiting a coroner.

Another minister caught in the resulting traffic jam enters the car and starts praying and singing, at which point he returns to life by joining in the hymn. He has been "dead" for 90 minutes. Now, it has happened that people who are being worked on with a defibrillator, etc., have come back after 90 minutes. But this guy was in a car with plastic over him.

Kate Bosworth plays the minister's wife, Eva, as if she had been heavily sedated. On the other hand, the minister is transferred to a hospital that allows him unlimited access to morphine so he is, in fact, heavily sedated. And about halfway through this 121 minutes of hell, you'll wish you were, too.

Unfortunately, Christensen's character is unlikeable as he slides into self-pity. When fireworks are going on outside, he says in his narration, those are the only fireworks left in our marriage now. He's been flat on his back in intractable pain -- I don't know what he expected.

The character is on an IV for 45 days+. He would have had a PIC line by then. Also, he's given no pain medication while they're trying to stimulate bone growth with a fixator, which is incredibly painful.

One other thing - of course the recovery is very expensive so at one point he is moved to a less expensive hospital. And all the staff becomes black. Low, producers, LOW.

The acting is uniformly bad with the exception of Fred Thompson, who comes off like John Barrymore compared to the rest of them. He offers him a milkshake - McDonald's obviously threw some money at this thing. They're everywhere.

As far as learning anything about the character's NDE, you won't, except for the last minutes of the film. Maybe heaven is worth the wait, but getting to this part of the film is not since you had to go through hell to get there. It's too little, too late.
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