Lavalantula (2015 TV Movie)
4/10
Spidey Nonsense
27 July 2015
Washed-up 1990s action film star Steve Guttenberg (as Colton West) is bound in a chair and beaten. He spits out a tooth and breaks free, but Mr. Guttenberg knocks over some set pieces. The director yells, "Cut!" It's only a movie… In real life, Guttenberg is on the freeway going home when an earthquake strikes. Earthquakes are common occurrences in Los Angeles, but this one's different. It is accompanied by volcanic eruptions. Giant, fire-breathing spiders pop out of the earth. Soon, Los Angeles is crawling with spiders. Guttenberg uses his action movie acting skills to help his bosom-displaying wife Nia Peeples (as Olivia) and juvenile-acting son Noah Hunt (as Wyatt) defeat the "Lavalantula" menace...

This is essentially a re-make of G.E. Furst's "Arachnoquake" (2012), which followed in the tracks left most successfully by "Them!" (1954) and "Arachnophobia" (1990). But, getting back to "Arachnoquake" (2012) and "Lavalantula". The plots are so similar, isn't it likely the two Syfy TV Movies were crafted by some of the same people? No, the movies have a completely different cast and crew. So, maybe it's this...

If you were doing a spider movie, where would they come from? The earth, of course, as in earthquakes. They would be big, naturally. That's not enough of a scare, so let's have them breathe fire. Now, how do we get rid of them? How about having our action hero star go after the "queen" spider? There's your movie! So, it's logical the two separate teams came up with the same plot. The second team of writers and producers can claim they don't watch Syfy TV Movies and just came up with the same story. Probably not true, but it has the shadow of a doubt...

Those with their IMDb "Reviews & Ratings" set on "Prolific Authors" may see reviewer Wes Connors state (again), "Spiders don't have queens!" and wonder why the producers, writers and director of "Lavalantula" did not know spiders are not insects. They don't have a "queen" (like ants). This was also true in "Arachnoquake" (2012), so it must be common ignorance. Syfy movies should not depend on science, should they?

**** Lavalantula (2015-07-25) Mike Mendez ~ Steve Guttenberg, Nia Peeples, Noah Hunt, Michael Winslow
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