For fans of bad cinema only
23 February 2015
Warning: Spoilers
So the movie has a woman in red riding hood, trying to take medicine to her grandma. And there's a guy in a werewolf costume, which I guess is like a Big Bad Wolf. So in that, I guess the film is faithful to the original Grimm Brother's fairy tale it says it's based on.

The bits about a seductive laundress, an evil leader monster with a crown of fingers, some eyeless monster, magical force fields, and a rocking estate in the forests of modern day California digress a bit from the source material.

Here's the thing though, it's all so bad and incoherent it's fun.

There are flashbacks to scenes we saw less than 15 minutes earlier. And those flashbacks repeat some shots for a second time. There's sound effects recycled from the director's earlier film "The Dead the Damned and the Darkness" (also recommended for fans of bad horror films). The CGI had me praying for a software watermark to complete the cheesiness.

But the cast seems to really give it their all. The costumes exist in a weird limbo between "off the shelf from a Halloween store" and "actually quite good". And the locations threaten to steal every scene they're in (but you can blame that partly on my love for medieval style castles and modern medieval-themed mansions).

There's so much more I want to tell you, but I have to let you discover some things on your own. Does Red Riding Hood get the medicine to her mother? Are breast implants used by monsters in the 14th century? Will the Power Rangers come looking for their foam-rubber sword being wielded by the knight? Does the film tack on an unexplained sub-plot about a girl in the modern day at a different location in order to pad the run time after the director realized he needed another 20 minutes or so? And why is the knight's voice so manly? So many mysteries! I wouldn't recommend watching this by yourself, but only because this kind of comedy is better shared. I also wouldn't recommend it for kids, or people who take bad cinema seriously (as a wise man once said "repeat to yourself, 'it's just a show. I should really just relax'."), and there's a brief scene of "light" sexual assault that may be too much for some*. But if you've got some friends, some pizza, and a suitable amount of brain damage (or brain damaging substances), then give it a go.

Recommended for: fans of "Birdemic 1" ("before James Nguyen sold out"), fans of Rene Perez' other films, movie hecklers, and fans of the theatrical release of "Hercules in New York".

(*all joking aside, I only mention this because I don't want someone thinking this will be fun based on my review, and then they have an emotional trigger set off. If you're on the fence, the scene is meant less as a drawn out exercise in horror-drama and (I'm pretty sure) more as a weak excuse to show a boob.)
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