I do admit, I was virtually lured into this film. Christopher Lambert, though never Acadamy-Award-material was often able to save a film by sheer virtue of his amiable self (and if you're a "boy" from my generation, you'll know that he was "the only one" to deserve the price). Then there was Klaus Maria Brandauer, one of the great (German-speaking) actors of his generation, right up there with Maximilian Schell, Bruno Ganz and Ulrich Mühe. In addition, I always had a soft spot for Roman history, grew up with the Asterix comics and, last but not least, I was conned with the promise of the "French answer to Braveheart".
Alright, put that dunce-cap on my head already, I deserve it! My eyes were glued instantly on Lamberts horrific hairpiece. What did it remind me of, was my constant thought? At first I thought: It's supposed to be Asterix (but that was just the mustache). Then it dawned on me: They borrowed Nigel Tufnels wig from "Spinal Tap"! Alas, poor Lambert! What will he have to star in next in order to secure a warm meal? A sixth installment of "Highlander"? Why not? Put a wig on his head, a little make-up and hey, who would ever notice that he's an eternally youthful 60-year-old? Can't say much about Brandauers performance. My subconscious has suppressed most of it, all that I remember is that Brandauer looked as bored and uncomfortable, as if he'd known that at the end of the day he would be paid in a mix of paper-money and coins (and probably Max Von Sydow was there to comfort him, telling him that that's how he's been getting paid for decades now).
But that's not the worst yet. The movie is two hours long and it felt like a lifetime! How do you remedy a two hour long, boring picture? You film the battles in slow-motion, was the first thought of the director.
I'm not into French-bashing (their food has improved since the days of Vercingetorix and Lutetia has transformed into an amiable city), but if that is how they honor their national heroes, there will come the day when they produce a film about Napoleon, in which the emperor wears a paper-hat, rides a mule and is followed into battle by a troupe of roughly 100 extras.
Yes, the experience made me a bitter person. I know it's morally wrong, but I truly hope that there is a lazy student out there who has to write a paper on De bello Gallico, who will watch this tripe instead of visiting a library, then hand in his paper (including the magic-sword-bit) and well, you can imagine the sad rest.
You see that one point for "Druids"? Well, it's not from me – it's courtesy of IMDb!
Alright, put that dunce-cap on my head already, I deserve it! My eyes were glued instantly on Lamberts horrific hairpiece. What did it remind me of, was my constant thought? At first I thought: It's supposed to be Asterix (but that was just the mustache). Then it dawned on me: They borrowed Nigel Tufnels wig from "Spinal Tap"! Alas, poor Lambert! What will he have to star in next in order to secure a warm meal? A sixth installment of "Highlander"? Why not? Put a wig on his head, a little make-up and hey, who would ever notice that he's an eternally youthful 60-year-old? Can't say much about Brandauers performance. My subconscious has suppressed most of it, all that I remember is that Brandauer looked as bored and uncomfortable, as if he'd known that at the end of the day he would be paid in a mix of paper-money and coins (and probably Max Von Sydow was there to comfort him, telling him that that's how he's been getting paid for decades now).
But that's not the worst yet. The movie is two hours long and it felt like a lifetime! How do you remedy a two hour long, boring picture? You film the battles in slow-motion, was the first thought of the director.
I'm not into French-bashing (their food has improved since the days of Vercingetorix and Lutetia has transformed into an amiable city), but if that is how they honor their national heroes, there will come the day when they produce a film about Napoleon, in which the emperor wears a paper-hat, rides a mule and is followed into battle by a troupe of roughly 100 extras.
Yes, the experience made me a bitter person. I know it's morally wrong, but I truly hope that there is a lazy student out there who has to write a paper on De bello Gallico, who will watch this tripe instead of visiting a library, then hand in his paper (including the magic-sword-bit) and well, you can imagine the sad rest.
You see that one point for "Druids"? Well, it's not from me – it's courtesy of IMDb!