Review of Leviathan

Leviathan (I) (2012)
1/10
What was this all about?
26 October 2013
The first thing I want to say is don't watch this movie. If you must watch this movie, then please empty your bladder first. I should get some kind of commendation for having watched the entire movie in one sitting. Yes, it was *that* bad.

I should start off by saying I initially knew nothing about this movie, not even that it was a "documentary". The only thing I knew about it was the title. Based on the title and the first "scene" (can it really be called a scene?) I had a feeling it was going to be a kind of Blair Witch of the sea. It seemed to be very slowly leading up to some disaster. There is darkness at sea. Some fishermen are working on a boat. It's dark. There's no dialog. Nothing but the sounds of the boat and the sea. You just know something is going to happen. Then 15 minutes goes by. Then 20. Then you start to wonder.

It took me a while to realize this is a "documentary". Except, there's no dialog. There's no narration. There are lots of sounds. Lots of water lots of fish. Lots of sea birds. Lots of out-of-focus shots. Lots of meaningless extreme close-ups. Lots and lots of water. There is very little "human" element. Most of what there is are extreme close-ups of pot-bellied, tattooed, chain-smoking white guys... who apparently don't talk much.

I learned nothing from this movie. Working on a fishing boat is lonely, dirty, wet, and hard work. I think I already knew that. The only thing I thought was good about the film is that the sea scallops looked really really good. I may just get some tomorrow. The only thing I could relate to in the film was the scene where the guy is falling asleep while watching television. That should be the movie trailer because it pretty much sums it all up.

Trust me: skip this one.
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