6/10
Please can I see the Kindy movie?
21 July 2013
Reviewer Raoul Hostettler thinks his local kindergarten could make a better movie that Clash of Empires and so I would like to please book a seat for the opening night. But then, if Hostettler's local kindy is as good at making movies as he is at writing English, I fear that might be a wasted evening!

Yet again (if you've read some of my other reviews), we have illiterate people writing desultory reviews about low-budget movies as though they expected them to be block-busters. Yes, I have written a few pretty scathing reviews myself but you've got to admit, those were for the absolute pits of the film industry. This movie is NOT the pits! No way! That isn't to say it's a blockbuster either but come on people, how many blockbuster movies are released each year? How many does Leonard Maltin give five stars to? But how many does he watch? Get the point? (Probably not! It's most likely too complicated for you!)

Let me ask you negative reviewers (and those readers who are contemplating watching Clash of Empires but check the reviews first), why do you watch movies? Is it to be entertained or is to avidly look for bloopers like trees not waving in the background? Is it to get all picky about English spoken with an accent? When it isn't, by the way - as in the case of the narrator in this movie who speaks absolutely beautiful English with just the right timbre for the role - the whiners complain about THAT too! There seems to be no pleasing some folk!

OK, I've got my frustration at negative-thinkers off my chest - now to the movie. Firstly, it was made in Malaysia by a Malaysin production company so one would assume that the prime target audience was Malays. However, if it had been all made in the Malay language, the box office would probably never have covered costs (because it definitely wouldn't have been cheap to make). So, very cleverly, the main language used was English which some of the Malaysian actors spoke with a slight accent. Nothing wrong with that (they weren't wearing Saville Row suits!!) I though it a nicely integrated touch for Mandarin and Malay languages to be used with subtitles where appropriate as this preserved the international flavour of the film. The action was good and the CG was OK (if not brilliant). The princess's handmaid added a little comedic interlude a few times and was well-played. Stephen Rahman Hughes as the lead was quite good (I'd like to know what the ladies thought of him). Pity there is no info about him on IMDb. I suspect that, if he ventured to Hollywood and had some good direction, he could become a big star.

I was entertained (which is why I watched the movie). I probably won't watch it again (but then I can think of some much larger-budget movies I won't watch again either!) So, if you're one of those picky twits who loves to look for things to complain about, watch Clash Of Empires. You will be rewarded - but PLEASE don't write a review because everyone else doesn't want to know how clever you are! On the other hand, if you enjoy a bit of action entertainment for what it is, then watch it too - and write a review (preferably in coherent English) telling everyone what you enjoyed! Its definitely worth more than 3.7! I gave it 6.
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