Found footage films, lets face it, they're much more miss than hit, but some of these films don't even get loaded into the chamber, and this is where you'll find Lost Coast tapes. I feel duty bound to WARN you not to watch this film because I have just wasted a precious hour and twenty five minutes of my life on this large roll of celluloid lavatory paper and whilst I have lost that time forever, I feel that it's not too late to save you. Yes YOU, fan of found footage films; because even you, with your love of Troll Hunter, and Rec and VHS, may be thinking 'OOoh this has a 4.1 rating on IMDb, it's in the zone where it MIGHT appeal to me as a fan of this type of stuff' must say NO. Yes it's a found footage film, but remember that "found footage", just means just that. What you have to ask yourself is: "found footage of what?" Well, I'll tell you - an hour and 25 minutes of PEOPLE. People talking, people driving, people arguing, people behaving irritatingly and nonsensically, people providing painful exposition, people pointing at stuff with torches, people running around in the dark, and people breathing rapidly in that way that actors always try to act 'out of breath'. OH what was that? A tree. Oh what was that?!? A very very distant flash of what possibly might have been a hairy extremity. OK yeah, but hold on because RIGHT over here I'll show you a BIGFOOT!! Here it comes, ready? Really ready?? OoOoh a shiny thing over there in the corner! Let me just go into the dark for a bit and investigate that. This is like 90 minutes of pass the parcel and when you get to the end, you realise your parents forgot to stick a present inside.
I figure if ONE person reads this review and opts out of watching this abysmal pointless junk, then I have done humanity a service.... Please, don't even be curious about this one, don't give it the satisfaction of doing a large Bigfoot sized poo all your expectations. If you hear about a twist, or are indeed even faintly curious about it, it makes NO sense and will annoy you even more. If you wanna ignore my words like the grizzled drunken harbinger that everyone always ignores in a horror film, then please for the love of God at least forward this rubbish to the 1 hour 15 mark and watch it from there. Then at least I can be safe in the knowledge that I've saved you 80 minutes of your life. You are very welcome my film watching friends.
I figure if ONE person reads this review and opts out of watching this abysmal pointless junk, then I have done humanity a service.... Please, don't even be curious about this one, don't give it the satisfaction of doing a large Bigfoot sized poo all your expectations. If you hear about a twist, or are indeed even faintly curious about it, it makes NO sense and will annoy you even more. If you wanna ignore my words like the grizzled drunken harbinger that everyone always ignores in a horror film, then please for the love of God at least forward this rubbish to the 1 hour 15 mark and watch it from there. Then at least I can be safe in the knowledge that I've saved you 80 minutes of your life. You are very welcome my film watching friends.