I have a strong feeling that this is Germany's way of getting back at America for past discrepancies, of which I will not go too deeply into, but either way, this film is so bad, so utterly putrid, it falls straight off the edge of my bad movie category and into the darkest depths of the oblivion. Let me explain.
First, for a story about how Christopher Columbus produced his theory on how the World was round and how new worlds may exist beyond the horizon, it seems to have absolutely nothing to do with that. Instead a bookworm who just magically happens to know everything tells Columbus that the World is round, which sends him to the King and Queen with his theory. Oh and apparently the Queen has a crush on him, but that's another story. In the first few minutes, you'd probably have noticed this film suffers from the same problem as Felix the Cat, it cannot be silent for 1 miserable second. There's always talking, always some noise of some description that is almost the equivalent of some guy yelling at you because he thinks that if he's silent he won't be garnering 100% of your attention.
So anyway, Christopher Columbus is given his ship and told to find the New World. Meanwhile, the story takes another divergence into the realms of stupidity as the Bookworm comes across a firefly trapped in a Chandelier, it turns out she is a Princess who possesses a magic light that is wanted by a Swarm Lord. Think we're getting a bit off topic at this point? According to the idiots who wrote this we're retracing the moments of history step by delirious step. Anyway, the Swarm Lord comes out of nowhere and steals her away to his land across the sea, which just so happens to be the USA.
The next day they set sail and the bookworm tells Columbus about his predicament, which somehow Columbus believes and decides to change the goal from discovering the New World to an elaborate Rescue Mission of a bug he probably doesn't even know exists, but for some reason he is just so obliviously accepting of all these inconceivable facts. As the voyage continues, and after a ridiculous dream sequence which could only be thought up by someone with an unknown mental illness, the crew lose faith in his judgement and try to hang him. But as timing would have it, the ship strikes on the shores of the New World just as he's being hung out to dry.
Wearing nothing but his boxers, Columbus, the bookworm and their new found talking Beaver friend go to a nearby Aztec temple that is controlled by the Swarm Lord and they attempt to break the Princess free. Through what can only be described as a collection of idiotic antics by the protagonists, they manage to destroy the temple and save the Princess, only to be confronted by the natives. The natives were in fact honouring the Swarm Lord themselves and so they are eternally grateful to Columbus for destroying it. And thus the story ends.
There you have it folks, the most idiotic representation of the discovery of America. This and a collection of terrible editing, worthless scriptwriting, inconsistent animation and more noise than a concert by Queen, makes this film genuine in the sense that it is so bad.
Personally, I think Alvin Seville from Alvin and the Chipmunks had a more believable story that Columbus did in fact cross the Atlantic aboard the Titanic before falling off the edge of the Earth only to find he didn't fall off the edge of the Earth and his soul purpose for finding the New World was to flog T-shirts. You know, I can actually relate to a story like that, because it is told in a way you can actually get your head around, unlike the garbage that was made for film that just takes history and drowns it in its own bathtub.
First, for a story about how Christopher Columbus produced his theory on how the World was round and how new worlds may exist beyond the horizon, it seems to have absolutely nothing to do with that. Instead a bookworm who just magically happens to know everything tells Columbus that the World is round, which sends him to the King and Queen with his theory. Oh and apparently the Queen has a crush on him, but that's another story. In the first few minutes, you'd probably have noticed this film suffers from the same problem as Felix the Cat, it cannot be silent for 1 miserable second. There's always talking, always some noise of some description that is almost the equivalent of some guy yelling at you because he thinks that if he's silent he won't be garnering 100% of your attention.
So anyway, Christopher Columbus is given his ship and told to find the New World. Meanwhile, the story takes another divergence into the realms of stupidity as the Bookworm comes across a firefly trapped in a Chandelier, it turns out she is a Princess who possesses a magic light that is wanted by a Swarm Lord. Think we're getting a bit off topic at this point? According to the idiots who wrote this we're retracing the moments of history step by delirious step. Anyway, the Swarm Lord comes out of nowhere and steals her away to his land across the sea, which just so happens to be the USA.
The next day they set sail and the bookworm tells Columbus about his predicament, which somehow Columbus believes and decides to change the goal from discovering the New World to an elaborate Rescue Mission of a bug he probably doesn't even know exists, but for some reason he is just so obliviously accepting of all these inconceivable facts. As the voyage continues, and after a ridiculous dream sequence which could only be thought up by someone with an unknown mental illness, the crew lose faith in his judgement and try to hang him. But as timing would have it, the ship strikes on the shores of the New World just as he's being hung out to dry.
Wearing nothing but his boxers, Columbus, the bookworm and their new found talking Beaver friend go to a nearby Aztec temple that is controlled by the Swarm Lord and they attempt to break the Princess free. Through what can only be described as a collection of idiotic antics by the protagonists, they manage to destroy the temple and save the Princess, only to be confronted by the natives. The natives were in fact honouring the Swarm Lord themselves and so they are eternally grateful to Columbus for destroying it. And thus the story ends.
There you have it folks, the most idiotic representation of the discovery of America. This and a collection of terrible editing, worthless scriptwriting, inconsistent animation and more noise than a concert by Queen, makes this film genuine in the sense that it is so bad.
Personally, I think Alvin Seville from Alvin and the Chipmunks had a more believable story that Columbus did in fact cross the Atlantic aboard the Titanic before falling off the edge of the Earth only to find he didn't fall off the edge of the Earth and his soul purpose for finding the New World was to flog T-shirts. You know, I can actually relate to a story like that, because it is told in a way you can actually get your head around, unlike the garbage that was made for film that just takes history and drowns it in its own bathtub.