1/10
It's Cheap, it's dull and it makes no sense
18 July 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I can't exactly put too much of the plot down because basically I can't figure out the plot. This isn't exactly a film I watched as a child but somehow after coming across it recently, I'm glad I didn't because it would have probably left me a mental mess. From what I've gathered through the self-righteous mess that is the script, it has something to do with a magical bone that is used to allow dogs and cats to communicate with humans and thereby live in the everyday world as individuals. There's never any explanation how this bone came to be, only that it was found in a similar fashion to that of Excalibur. However, an evil man with a name as cosmopolitan as some of those found in a Captain Planet Cartoon named McNasty is out to claim the the bone for himself and thereby overthrow the world. The way they depict this is he puts the bone back together and guess what... Absolutely nothing happens, he remains stood there the same as he was before with no obvious differences, and proclaims himself King of the world, whilst singing an insufferable rip off of 'Bad to the Bone' by George Thorogood, with just the five beats of the drum being his musical accompaniment, a real epic of a song, sure does beat the pants off those Disney Classics and other evil themes. Eventually, he gets defeated by this giant dog called Big Paw who only appears at the very end of the film and spends most of the time hiding even though the film title clearly states that it is 'The Legend of Big Paw' and he is turned good by some kind of tumble drier. The others celebrate and sing terrible songs and basically annihilate all that is music.

In all, this film is a jumbled concoction of idiocy, with terrible songs, worthless dialogue that sounds like it was made up in a 3 year old's sleep, animation that's the equivalent of the Saturday morning cartoon this movie came from and a humour that you could say is as dry as a bone! Steer well clear of this one folks if you want to keep yours or your child's dignity intact.
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