Piranhaconda (2012 TV Movie)
6/10
Never is going to be one of my favourites, but for me one of SyFy's more tolerable movies
20 June 2012
Warning: Spoilers
To be honest I wasn't expecting to enjoy Piranhaconda, the concept was rather cheesy though had potential to be entertaining, the film didn't exactly look promising and the amount of 1s added to the IMDb score pre-release further added to my dubiousness. SyFy are also notorious for bad to bottom-of-the-barrel movies(though there are a few tolerable ones too), though no matter how terrible most are I find them compulsively watchable and always watch to see if they ever do anything tolerable, otherwise unless they are horrifically or insultingly bad I do revel in their badness. Imagine my surprise when I found Piranhaconda to be one of SyFy's more tolerable movies. It is not perfect by all means, and has a lot of problems but does improve on assets that bring their movies down in the first place.

Visually, it doesn't look too bad. With SyFy, you would expect hackneyed editing, scenery that doesn't give a sense of authenticity, dull lighting and awkward camera angles. In regard to those assets though, Piranhaconda is generally one of their better-looking movies. The editing and camera work is mostly focused and the scenery is striking. You'd also anticipate laughably awful special effects. On the other hand, the Piranhaconda looks alright, there are a few moments where it does look fake, but overall it delivers what the film promised(part-snake, part-fish, all killer), it does look menacing and the movements are less choppy than other SyFy creatures, in fact I was impressed at the amazing speed it moved at. My problem with the Piranhaconda wasn't to do with the design this time. It was to do with how it was developed, you don't find out much about its origin and how it came to be in the jungle.

In all fairness though, that is true of the human characters as well. Thankfully they are less annoying than SyFy movies like Miami Magma and Seattle Superstorm, but not only are they developed unconvincingly, how did three groups exactly manage to be in the jungle at the same time as each other, but especially the scientist and hot chick-type characters they are very clichéd. The script fares better, less stilted, less aimless and less contrived than most SyFy fare. While some of the more humorous spots are not as funny as they could've been, the script does have some pleasantly witty spots. The story is also an improvement, though my feelings were still mixed. It doesn't make the mistake of being dull pace-wise, is light-hearted in tone and reasonably enjoyable, with some fun, tense and not too predictable deaths with a higher body count than usual. However, the final 10-15 minutes are rather rushed, the sub-plot about the scientist character being interested in a flower that seemed thrown in and many questions, such as how the scientific group did not know anything about the Piranhaconda or why Rachel Hunter's group stayed in a place where it would be easy for the Piranhaconda to kill them.

Musically, I was also pleasantly surprised after hearing many SyFy scores that were sluggishly in tempo, derivative or overbearing. The music here has an adventurous vibe to it, and while I would've preferred that the Piranhaconda theme was without the lyrics, which came across as schlocky to me, the theme itself is one of the catchier SyFy movie themes. The acting is better than usual. It was a pleasure to see Michael Madsen and he is literally unrecognisable, but he seemed bored in comparison to his other roles. Although I wish she had more to do, I did think Rachel Hunter was quite good, and while I've read from some that Terri Ivens was rather long-in-the-tooth for the hot chick role I can't deny that she was gorgeous. But in the most fun role of the movie that is more than the hot girl in a bikini, it was Shandi Finnessy who took the acting honours.

All in all, I didn't love it but I didn't hate it. Piranhaconda was problematic but I did find it one of SyFy's more tolerable films. 6/10 Bethany Cox
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