Until now, I had 2009's Lesbian Vampire Killers down as the worst British comedy/horror film to feature home-grown TV 'talent', but I'd forgotten all about this absolute travesty from '84. Starring ex-Radio One disc-jockey turned TV superstar Kenny Everett in his one-and-only feature film role, plus a host of other familiar faces from British TV during the 70s and 80s, the film is a laugh-free zone from start to finish, the puerile script by seasoned TV gag-writer Barry Cryer featuring lame jokes that make even his worst material for Russ Abbot and Jim Davidson look like comedy genius by comparison, and the performances ranging from the perfunctory (Vincent Price) to the downright abysmal (Everett's TV co-star Cleo Rocos).
Given star Everett's trademark zaniness, Bloodbath at the House of Death could (and should) have been a hilarious exercise in excess, the move to the big screen allowing the star to be crazier, bawdier and more outrageous than ever before, and yet there is a frustratingly restrained feel about the whole film; true, there are a few surprisingly graphic deaths involving some cartoonish gore (which even earned the film an 18 certificate!), but the majority of the gags are tired, dumb, predictable and irritatingly scatter-shot, desperately parodying everything from Jaws and the Exorcist to ET and Star Wars in the fruitless search for laughs.
Given star Everett's trademark zaniness, Bloodbath at the House of Death could (and should) have been a hilarious exercise in excess, the move to the big screen allowing the star to be crazier, bawdier and more outrageous than ever before, and yet there is a frustratingly restrained feel about the whole film; true, there are a few surprisingly graphic deaths involving some cartoonish gore (which even earned the film an 18 certificate!), but the majority of the gags are tired, dumb, predictable and irritatingly scatter-shot, desperately parodying everything from Jaws and the Exorcist to ET and Star Wars in the fruitless search for laughs.