7/10
Colorful War Adventure.
1 April 2011
Warning: Spoilers
Man, do they blow things up in this movie. If it stands, it gets blown up. Cannon shells tear up the ground and explode in the moat around the enclave of the non-Chinese powers. A ten-story tower with three platforms launches rockets into the compound. A rocket tower goes berserk and starts shooting rockets and shells in all directions. An arsenal erupts into a shattering volcano of fire, sparks, and smoke.

A half dozen different countries, along with their military units, are located in the compound near Beijing -- American Marines led by Charlton Heston, a British contingent led by David Niven, and Russians, Italians, French, German, and Japanese soldiers and sailors. Not many all together, perhaps 500, against the might of the savage warriors known as Boxers. The Empress of the Jade Empire alone knows their number.

In the opening scene, the half dozen or so different nations are playing their national anthems and running up the flags in the square. Two Chinese guys in rags are trying to protect their ears from the dissonance. What a horrible noise, one remarks, what does it all mean? "It means they want China," replies the other.

Well, in brief, the Boxers attack, the occupying powers repel the attacks for fifty-five days, until they are finally spent, out of ammunition, and half dead. Then the cavalry arrives in the form of military contingents from each power. At the end, they are playing their national anthems again and creating a howl of dissonance. "Well," says Heston, "for fifty-five days we managed to play the same tune."

The Empress, Flora Robson, ordered them out with a warning near the beginning, yet they chose to stay. But why? Maybe this scene gives us a hint. At a legation ball, a Boxer hands Heston a sword and asks him to try striking an incredibly limber Boxer acrobat. Instead, Heston whirls around and puts the point of the sword against a surprised Boxer assistant. Heston backs him up against a table, then sweeps his feet out from under him and he tumbles to the floor with a crash of plates and crockery. "I think you've made your point, Major," says Niven. Oh, yes? What exactly WAS the point?

If that scene doesn't answer the question of why they hung around when they were clearly persona non grata, maybe this exchange does. Heston and Niven are discussing one of the enlisted Marines. Heston: "He's a good man when he knows what he's fighting for." Niven: "Yes. It's different when you're facing a wall or a hill. But how do you explain to a man that he's fighting for a principle?" Okay. They're all fighting for a principle. So what is the principle? It can't be the usual "democracy and freedom" because this is China in 1900, external powers already occupy most of China's provinces, and the only principles anyone is interested in are territory and opium. What else does China have to offer? The entire country lives in grinding poverty and cooks sparse meals on gas stoves that use pig farts for fuel. But the movie doesn't ask why unwanted guests stick around. So it's simply a story of good Europeans against evil Chinese.

They must have spent enough money on this production to feed the population of China for ten years. There seem to be thousands of extras running around screaming amid the explosions. Dong Kingman did the paintings behind the credits and he's always just fine, at least for middle-brows like myself. Dmitri Tiompkins' score has its usual flatulent trombones and cow bells. He tries to develop a "Chinese" theme too but it's not nearly as successful as the Attic mood he established in "The Guns of Navarone." At times, it sounds a little Biblical. I half expected Yul Brynner to clap his hands and order, "Bring on the Hebrew dancing girls."

The part of the Marine major is well within Charlton Heston's range and he does well with it. He's less impressive when he's strutting around swinging both arms in the same direction and jutting his iron jaw out, than when he's engaged in some thoughtful conversation and is in conflict about something.

The rest of the cast hit their marks and say what they have to say, except that Helpmann as Prince Tuan should be sent back to some high school play in Short Hills, New Jersey. He's terrible. Ava Gardner is no longer a spring chicken but still beautiful, without having to wear a mask of Hollywood makeup. Alas, her part sucks. Every movie about people trapped in a limited space and faced with a common goal must have some dilatory moron who skulks and bitches about everything. Here, it's Kurt Kasnar as a Russian Baron. He's always angry. And on top of that he's trying to blackmail Ava Gardner into becoming his mistress. It's 1963 so the Russians could still be underhanded. A bright spot is Lynne Sue Moon as the eleven-year-old orphan of a Marine officer, whom Heston decides to adopt despite his martial distaste for love and affection. The kid has a Brit accent and is beautiful. About the only truly touching moment in the film is when Heston rides back for her, reaches down, says, "Here, take my hand," hoists her up behind his saddle, and rides off with her at the head of the departing detail.

The message of the movie, of course, is that we can win if we all pull together towards our superordinate goal. But I'll tell you what I got out of it. We should stay out of China. Not just because of their one billion warriors, but because I wouldn't tangle with Dame Flora Robson. She's been an imperious Queen Elizabeth I twice -- including Errol Flynn's "The Sea Hawk." She's indomitable. If she told me to get out, I'd get out pronto.

Tremble and obey.
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