7/10
"How Would You Like Your Roast Clots?"
1 December 2010
"Vault of Horror" (1973) is one of seven horror anthology pictures released by Hammer rival Amicus over an eight-year period. It had been preceded by "Dr. Terror's House of Horrors," "Torture Garden," "The House That Dripped Blood," "Asylum" and "Tales From the Crypt," and would soon be followed by "From Beyond the Grave." As in its immediate predecessor, the vignettes here were all inspired by tales that had appeared in the fondly remembered EC Comics of the 1950s. "Vault" wastes little time with its obligatory framing story, as five men, strangers to one another, are shanghaied via elevator to a luxuriously appointed subbasement chamber and, over drinks, discourse on their respective nightmares. In "Midnight Mess," a brother (Daniel Massey) kills his sister (real-life sister Anna Massey) over an inheritance but must later face the neighborhood's very unusual nighttime denizens. In "The Neat Job," a compulsive neatnik (Terry-Thomas) subjects his new wife (Glynis Johns, 50 here and still adorable in this, one of her last theatrical films) to more aggravation than Felix Unger ever dished out to Oscar...until poor Glynis can't take it anymore, that is. In "This Trick'll Kill You," a husband-and-wife team of magicians (Curt Jurgens and Dawn Addams) steals a magic rope in India, only to have things go terribly wrong afterwards. In "Bargain In Death," two men (Michael Craig and Edward Judd) attempt an insurance scam involving a faked death and premature burial, leading to quite a messy situation indeed. And in "Drawn and Quartered" (great title, that!), future Dr. Who portrayer Tom Baker plays an artist living in Haiti who uses voodoo to take vengeance on his enemies. All five of these stories are compact, occasionally humorous but nonetheless quite grisly affairs, more than competently directed by Amicus veteran Roy Ward Baker. The film's conclusion will surprise only the most naive viewers, but remains wholly satisfying. In all, a pleasing quintet of shudders. Oh...this is the only film of the seven mentioned above that does NOT feature the talents of the great Peter Cushing. But since he did appear in "The Creeping Flesh," "The Satanic Rites of Dracula," "And Now the Screaming Starts" AND "From Beyond the Grave" that same year, I suppose all can be forgiven! "All the things that make life worth leaving," the trailer for "Vault" proclaimed in '73. Indeed, indeed....
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