6/10
The BEST thing ever created by mankind!
13 October 2010
Really cool movie alert! Fans of Invasion U.S.A. (1985) (i.e., everyone that's ever seen it) are sure to love this one as well.

When ridiculously evil Russian General Ivan Dimanovitch (Nicholson), who naturally runs a prison camp in Vietnam, is holding an American CIA agent in his horrid cages, badass soldier dudes Richard "Ric" Sanders (Thayer) and Harry Cotter (Dresden) are sent in by their commanding officer Baylor (Monty) to save the man and free the camp - in the next 24 hours. If the man succumbs to the torture tactics of Dimanovitch, he could spill information sensitive to the U.S. Just when we as viewers are acclimating to this, we see a title on screen - TEN YEARS LATER (!) Dimanovitch has captured Cotter and he makes him undergo a surgical procedure in which a microchip is implanted at the base of his skull. This chip turns him into an emotionless killing machine controlled by a Casio wristwatch. Of course, Dimanovitch is wearing the watch and pressing the buttons. The plan is a total commie takeover of the world, and since he hates religion, to use Cotter to assassinate the Pope. So Baylor sends Sanders, now a private citizen, into the fray to take down all the baddies and stop Cotter. With the help of Barbara (Nero) and of course an arsenal of machine guns larger than most armies, will they be able to stop the nefarious evil planning to take over the world? If movies were judged by the amount of people that die in them, No Dead Heroes would win awards. The kill count is huge, and there are even surprising lashings of gore. Try to imagine a cross between Wardogs (1986) and Invasion U.S.A. With maybe a dash of The Devastator (1985) thrown in for good measure.

The movie starts with an explosion in the first second, and many more follow throughout the majority of the film's running time. In the funny department, even though he is an evil commie rapist, just look at Dimanovitch's henchman Lopez. He is an obese, bearded man that looks like Castro. Speaking of which, No Dead Heroes shares Invasion U.S.A.'s patriotism, and the prerequisite speeches are made against America, capitalism and religion...all this angers super-patriot Sanders who truly is a one-man army. Additionally, since his buddy's name is "Harry Cotter", every time they say it, it's hard not to imagine the beloved, bespectacled children's character (with one letter different, of course) massacring people and attempting to knock over the PopeMobile.

You're really not a super-villain unless you have a terrorist training camp (or, in the case of American Ninja (1985), a Ninja training camp) and when Sanders and Barbara show up with guns blazin', that will certainly knock you off the monkey bars! Behind the camera, we have producer Anthony Maharaj, responsible for some Richard Norton epics, including Not Another Mistake (1988). Apparently he likes being involved in movies where there are "No" something or "Not" something. It's quite a formula for success. Also there is a credit in the movie for, and I quote, "Meal Checker". Maybe there was a mad poisoner going around bent on the indigestion of Max Thayer, so it's good the production sprang for him.

For classic 80's uber-patriotic shoot-fests that require zero brain power, (and, thankfully there is zero irony), top marks go to the impressive No Dead Heroes.

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