Federal Protection (2002 TV Movie)
4/10
So so action comedy.
16 July 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Federal protection starts in Illinois in Chicago where car thief Frank 'Chop Chop' Carbone (Armand Assante) is double crossed by his partner Pasquale 'Patsy' Dilepsi (Tony Clabretta) who has lead two mob hit men (one played by director Anthony Hickox) to his garage, however Carbone survives the attempt on his life & becomes a witness for the state against mob boss Jospeh Pagnozzi (Mark Camacho) in return for federal protection. Crabone is given a new name Howard Akers & is moved to a nice little suburban house in the town of Little Rock in Arkansas where his sexy neighbour Leigh Kirkendale (Angela Featherstone) recognises him & they both fall in love with each other. Word gets around that the mob has put a one million dollar price on Carbone's head & Leigh's greedy sister Bootsie (Dina Meyer) & her cheating husband Denny (David Lipper) try to contact the mob to collect the reward & once the mob find out where Carbone is they send hit men out to kill him...

Directed by Anthony Hickox one has to say this reasonable yet unspectacular thriller has a few nice moments but overall it can't really distinguish itself from the crowd, an adequate time waster I would struggle to describe it as anything else to be honest. The script is a fairly routine comedy thriller about the mob trying to find someone in hiding & that someone in hiding trying to stay hidden. Funnily enough Carbone barely does anything for the majority of the film except have a soap opera style relationship with his neighbour Leigh which happens far too fast for me to totally buy it & most of the fun to be had with Federal Protection is with Bootsie & Lenny's plan to get a million from the mob & turn Carbone in which is oblivious to Carbone until the end. There's an amusing part in a hotel room as two mob goons burst in on Bootsie & Lenny playing S&M games although there's a really stupid bit here where goon number one opens a window & threatens to throw them both out of it but then decides to stand with his back to them facing the window & actually leaning out of it. I mean what did he expect them to do exactly other than push him out of it first? The plan Bootsie comes up with to get the money by making the drop in the middle of a police convention is also quite cool but apart from one or two moments Federal Protection is quite routine & bland. The relationship between Carbone & Leigh just suddenly happens rather than develops & the happy ending is a little too neatly wrapped up & convenient for me. At about 90 odd minutes long Federal Protection is fairly watchable although there are times it can drag.

Another disappointing aspect of Federal Protection is the action, or rather the lack of it. There are a couple of bloody shootings & a scene set in a junkyard where a few trashed cars get blown up but nothing else of note. There are a couple of kinky S&M scenes although they are tame to say the least & are more funny & playful than anything else. There is a fair amount of profanity & the infrequent violence is quite bloody so it deserves it's 'R' rating but only just. Filmed with no great style Federal Protection looks alright if a little plain.

The IMDb says that Federal Protection had a budget of about $6,000,000 which I find very hard to believe, sure there's a decent cast with familiar faces but little action. Although set in Chicago & Arkansa like many low budget films this was actually filmed in Québec in Canada. Armand Assante barely does anything until the last five minutes while the sexy Dina Meyer looks to be having fun as the vampish Bootsie.

Federal Protection is a comedy thriller that isn't particularly funny or thrilling to be honest, I have seen better but then again I have seen worse. If you catch it on telly for free you might make it through o the end happily enough but I'd advise spending money on it.
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