YES, THERE ARE MASSIVE SPOILERS IN THIS POST.
Does it matter? ..... no.
No, no, and no. One hour and ten minutes of my life and a dollar and ten cents that I will never get back.
Not to say it didn't have a certain... theoretical something. But Barney on a cracker, it was bad! Movie! You are supposed to have a PLOT. Not a series of oft-unintelligible images framed by a well-regarded actor, a pretty older gal and a semi-hot teen heartthrob who is famous for acting intensely disaffected. Or is that disaffectedly intense? Whichever one, he does. For the whole movie.
I rented this thinking: hey, young Leo DiCaprio wasn't at all bad when he had leeway to ACT (even before Aviator, in which he was rather awesome). I liked Pattinson as Cedric Digory well enough. I think I'll give the shiny vampire kid a chance.
*sob* Oh, I rue the day...
To add insult to injury (do those TV lawyers do pro-bono for intellectual bludgeoning?), every time I thought something would HAPPEN... it turned out to either be a 'dream' (ARGH! CHEAT!!) or some never discussed again empty plot point.
Except for the suicide. Who then comes back. To... haunt him? Give friendly advice with a mute child from... the bombing??? I JUST watched this dreck an hour ago and I have NO IDEA.
Save yourself the agony: it's not the actors faults (probably), the script should have been tossed on the 'interesting but only for a short story' pile, the director should have called in sick (it might have been better! Julian Sands would have been, I'll wager), and the cinematographer... needs to STOP WATCHING MICHAEL BAY FILMS. Not EVERY SCENE that you want to be DRAMATIC needs to be filmed by HAND by a person suffering chronic Jazz Hands Syndrome!! Sorry to get so shouty, but... OK, any movie that starts with the Vienna Spooks Choir "AAAAAHHHH!"ing spookily as the camera pans through spooky trees to a spooky house while using a spookily blue filter (for almost the entire bloody movie) needs to be shot. Erm, never shot. Yes. Never shot.
My tuppence.
Does it matter? ..... no.
No, no, and no. One hour and ten minutes of my life and a dollar and ten cents that I will never get back.
Not to say it didn't have a certain... theoretical something. But Barney on a cracker, it was bad! Movie! You are supposed to have a PLOT. Not a series of oft-unintelligible images framed by a well-regarded actor, a pretty older gal and a semi-hot teen heartthrob who is famous for acting intensely disaffected. Or is that disaffectedly intense? Whichever one, he does. For the whole movie.
I rented this thinking: hey, young Leo DiCaprio wasn't at all bad when he had leeway to ACT (even before Aviator, in which he was rather awesome). I liked Pattinson as Cedric Digory well enough. I think I'll give the shiny vampire kid a chance.
*sob* Oh, I rue the day...
To add insult to injury (do those TV lawyers do pro-bono for intellectual bludgeoning?), every time I thought something would HAPPEN... it turned out to either be a 'dream' (ARGH! CHEAT!!) or some never discussed again empty plot point.
Except for the suicide. Who then comes back. To... haunt him? Give friendly advice with a mute child from... the bombing??? I JUST watched this dreck an hour ago and I have NO IDEA.
Save yourself the agony: it's not the actors faults (probably), the script should have been tossed on the 'interesting but only for a short story' pile, the director should have called in sick (it might have been better! Julian Sands would have been, I'll wager), and the cinematographer... needs to STOP WATCHING MICHAEL BAY FILMS. Not EVERY SCENE that you want to be DRAMATIC needs to be filmed by HAND by a person suffering chronic Jazz Hands Syndrome!! Sorry to get so shouty, but... OK, any movie that starts with the Vienna Spooks Choir "AAAAAHHHH!"ing spookily as the camera pans through spooky trees to a spooky house while using a spookily blue filter (for almost the entire bloody movie) needs to be shot. Erm, never shot. Yes. Never shot.
My tuppence.