2/10
B to the A to the double D.... B A D D
24 February 2010
Wow, this was one heck of a sleazy low budget movie.

You have zombie Nazis, reanimated templars, a bunch of women stuck in a remote location, a creepy old castle, nudity... Basically the essentials to make a horror movie. But this movie went oh so horribly wrong!

The dialogue is hilarious, stupid and stumbling.

The cast, well, there are some who are adequate to behold, while some are downright horrible.

The effects of the movie are laughable and most of the make-up is bad as well. Some of the zombies were adequately made with the make-up though. One thing really puzzled me though, these undead templars have been dead so long that there is no more skin and flesh on their horned skulls, but yet somehow their torsos, arms and legs are surprisingly meaty! And they were growling like demons? Hmmmm...

The costumes and outfits were of somewhat mixed value. Some were really bad, and some were good. The guy showing up at the castle with the cloak-like jacket, what was up with his costume? Who actually wears clothes like that? He seemed to be a parody of a typical Van Helsing character.

The story of "Don't Wake the Dead" is bad and have too many strange elements tossed into it. As if the people making the movie just added stuff to the plot as the shooting progressed. There is no overall whole connection to the movie.

Oh, and the movie had way too much nudity in it. Most of which was senseless, pointless nudity, just to show off some skin. That was really pathetic. But I guess being dead for centuries makes even the undead horny!

Not all in this movie was bad though. There were some really nice locations and sets in the movie. Especially inside the old castle, there were places there that looked like they were taken right out of the first "Resident Evil" game. They were really nice. And also somehow, despite the overall crappiness of the movie, there was a strange sense of those old Italian horror movies to it, so that sort of came off well on the screen.

Despite this movie being so bad, I watched it and was laughing a lot throughout the movie. If nothing else, watch this movie for some good laughs at a very bad attempt at making a horror movie. You will just keep watching to see the next bad effect or hear what the next wonderful dialogue will be...
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