7/10
What did food services put in the Koolaid?
5 December 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I just pulled this number off the Netflix queue for some light late-night action. Instead, I got a brainlock.

First came the beginning set up, then came the crash to a planet. . .and then evidently, someone said something to upset a Food Service worker, because an overdose of psychiatric drugs in the Koolaid is the only explanation for the following hour and a half I saw.

I give this a 7 ,not because it was a Bomb, but because it failed to make sense. And it failed--No- REFUSED to make sense in a spectacularly engaging way.

I kid you not-- this movie is a nonstop sequence of lurid cheapo-sets, sophomoric humor, an absolutely obscure and bizarre war plot interspersed with some pretty good creature effects, battle scenes, spaceship crashes, adrenaline-pumped cyborgs, an alien pyramid, a leatherclad temptress who is the President of Earth. . .and the best yet: a 70's Blaxploitation flashback!!!

When the movie ended, a lot of people were dead. Some deserved it because the Plot demanded it. Other were dead because they were too corny to stay alive. Others were dead because they probably realized that this movie was the end of their professional careers. And one was dead because of a mutant chicken.

The one character who I am NOT sure is dead is the President of Earth.

And P.S. This movie is NOT for the kids, unless you want to spend the rest of the night explaining a couple of frankly adult scenes. And if your teenager is watching this. . .maybe you'd be better off NOT KNOWING that your teenager was watching this so as to give yourself Plausible Deniability when being interviewed by Child Protective Services.

Oh. . .one character is killed at least twice, yet still appears at the end of the movie to be killed one last time.

I even think I saw a Ma'har.

Oh. . .it died too.

Plot Spoiler? This Movie had a Plot? As in a Progressive Story line? Hah!

Man. . .that Koolaid must have been GOOOOD!

Watch at your own risk.
15 out of 18 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed