Never Cry Werewolf (2008 TV Movie)
4/10
Make the movie you want to--not just the one you can!!
13 May 2008
Warning: Spoilers
In 1981 John Landis brought the seminal werewolf film, An American Werewolf in London, to theatres. It wasn't received well, but it has since gone on to become a classic by which all others in the genre are to be judged. Why? Simple, Landis held out for his shooting star. He had a working script for the movie in the sixties, but no one would touch it. That's why he paid his dues and cut his teeth acting in crap films and directing movies like the Blues Brothers and Animal House. After he paid his dues he was finally given cart blanche to do his werewolf film, and it rocked.

I bring this up because this movie was the bail of hay which broke this camel's back. I am a huge fan of the genre and every year horror movies seem to get dumber and dumber. Movies like Never Cry Werewolf don't help--not at all. When you have a million dollar idea, you don't try to get by on a buck ten.

The story was flat out bad. Nina Dobrev's character sees one hooker and the next thing you know she's breaking out the silver like she lived in Lower East Proctor. Seriously, WTF? Why didn't her younger brother think it was weird that a grown man, a stranger would give him a ride to school on a motorcycle? For that matter, why didn't his mom, his sister, or anyone else? Also, I'm just curious, but why did the werewolf's dog turn into one of the skinless mutts from Resident Evil at a gunshow, and in broad daylight. Why did the werewolf even have a dog?

The special effects were laughable. A sex criminal has three red lines on his neck, yet is said to have had his throat torn the Hell out. The werewolf looked like a pretty bad ass bear skin rug and was every bit as animated. Aren't lycnathropes supposed to be mobile? Why did the kid who was bitten look more like a tall Ghoulie than and actual lycanthropic understudy, and was that spine thing glued onto his shirt.

Th acting was, well the acting wasn't half good, but it wasn't half bad either. In a more ambitious flick any deficits in the actors performance might have shown, but that was not the case here. Nina Dobrev, Greg Calderone, Peter Stebbings, and Kevin Sorbo did what they could and it wasn't much because this film was doomed. This brings me to my next point.

People look at the horror genre nowadays and laugh. It is dominated by some of the most God awful films you'll ever see. I love horror films, but the preponderance of bad ones is destroying their marketability. I would be more understanding, but there are the Ginger Snaps films which prove a good horror movie can be made under the radar--and in Canada.

Bretton Spencer and John Sheppard--you two can do better than this. I honestly don'tsee how you couldn't. Sometimes you have an idea in your head and you can see it so vividly, but end up having to compromise because someone else is footing the bill. To this I say follow John Landis' example. Pay your dues and bide your time honing your craft. This way you may be able to have a hand in creating a truly memorable horror film. Maybe that way you can actually make the movie you want to--not just the one you can!! I hope your next film is better and not another nail in the coffin of this genre.

To anyone else reading, I say this. Don't try to make what you can't afford the budget for. It will only end up hurting you and breaking your heart when your idea is turned to crap for all to see. Do the right movie for the right money. Hell, with a budget of just $30,000 you can make a damn good short which can get your foot in the door. Just stay true. Don't sell yourself short and make a movie like this.
4 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed