6/10
Die Hard 4 - Here's Why It Sucked...
29 July 2007
Warning: Spoilers
First off, I'm a Die Hard 1 lover. The second and third weren't very good. Die Hard 1 was a textbook on how to make a thriller and was the first "high tech" heist/terrorist blockbuster thrillers I can recall.

Die Hard 4.0 (which would've been clever in 1998, not so much now) is a loud, expensive, frenetic modern take on Die Hard 1. It's too much of everything. Here are the ingredients, see if you haven't seen these 100 times before (5 seasons of 24, MI:3, Bourne, Matrix, etc.):

1. Indestructible hero 2. Art-directed government computer centers that look like Dr. Evil's lair with plasmas all over the walls. 3. Computers doing high tech things with beautiful unknown operating systems that can pull up 3D wire frame schematics of anything imaginable in 1.5 seconds flat, and make high tech noises and beeps. 4. An aerial establishing shot of Washington D.C. that "types" in courier font the name of XXXXXX government institution (ticka ticka ticka ticka...). 5. Bossy government officials who say "get me XXXX on a secure channel" or addresses everyone as "people, you better get me some answers" and dislikes the hero and ignores his sage advice. 5. Beautiful computer technicians who know kung fu. Also, who wear 9 inch heels to conduct military operations because we all know how easy heels are to maneuver in. 6. Bad guys who take out 3rd tier characters with one shot but empty clip after clip in futility to hit the good guy. 7. Good guys who can launch a car into the air to hit a helicopter or knock open a fire hydrant to get a killer to fall out of his helicopter. First, fire hydrants lose their high pressure once the water has traveled about 3 feet. And the pressure comes from the narrow hydrant nozzle, not the water supply in the ground. If you knock the hydrant over, it won't spray upward more than a few feet and certainly wouldn't knock a guy out of a helicopter (who would've been clipped into a safety harness for rifle sniping anyway). Idiotic.

All in all, this movie is terrible. We walked out. How can chase set pieces be boring? Die Hard 4.0 will show how. Lousy movie.
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