Review of Crank

Crank (2006)
4/10
He has one hour to live. I'd like two hours of my life back.
18 February 2007
Warning: Spoilers
What a disappointment. I really look forward to Jason Statham movies as he has all the tools to be a major action star. He is fit, projects a great screen charisma and knows enough martial arts to allow for nicely choreographed fight scenes. But his movies continue to be weak. Well, his previous movies seemed weak at the time but, compared to this stinker, they rocked.

He may have jumped at this movie based on the script. I can imagine getting excited just reading the screenplay. The premise is not original by any means, but still nifty: he wakes up with a video love note from enemy gangsters letting him know that he has one hour to live due to a designer poison in his system. A nice touch was the video showing them administering the drug while he was asleep. There is apparently no cure but the death can be delayed by keeping his adrenaline up. The script then lends itself to what could have been nicely over-the-top moments involving him starting fights he cannot hope to win, having sex with his girlfriend in front of a cheering crowd of Chinatown onlookers, mutilating himself with a waffle iron, starting police chases and generally embarking on what the news station in the movie called a city-wide spree of destruction.

All of these scenes with so much potential were wasted in the unimaginative hands of director Mark Neveldine. He goes through every clichéd tool available: fast edits, fast pans, odd tilts, slow-mo, etc., all supported by a fast, generic soundtrack. Okay, granted, pretty much all action movies use these tools but, in the good ones, the directors use them imaginatively and well. Neveldine did neither. If the Cardinal Sin of any movie is to boring, how much worse is it for an action movie to suffer that? The movie is barely workable. I don't believe it even lends itself to the enjoyment of picking it apart with friends. Statham does maintain his favorable screen presence, but very little else. Amy Smart is not terribly attractive here. That's got to be the movie as she looks charming in other venues (see: The Best Man and Just Friends, though she was out-shined by Anna Faris in the latter). Efren Ramirez is always enjoyable, including his violently brief role here. For much better examples of his talent see Napolean Dynamite and Employee of the Month.

I'd really recommend a pass on this movie.
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