1/10
Dear Mr. M. Knight, stick to the Amex commercials...
23 July 2006
Warning: Spoilers
he should be put in director jail and the key thrown away for many reasons, not the least of which is how much screen time he gave himself. directors giving themselves bit parts is a fun game, great for trivia and whatnot, but please, don't go The Way of Quentin.

i'm of Korean heritage, and the supposed myth upon which this plot is based comes entirely from the memories of a Korean-American woman, and translated by her Americanized daughter with a bad, bad accent. i suppose m. knight thought giving her wild hairstyles would be enough to counter the "good Asian girl" stereotype. i wondered where the decision to use the Korean culture came from. maybe he just figured he needed some mysticism, and dipped into whatever culture was handy at the moment. hey, m. knight -- words like "scrunt" and "narf" don't translate phonetically into English; they'd each have three syllables. being a minority yourself, i thought you'd be more sensitive to details like this.

bad stereotypes aside, the premise of a ghostly, Oppie-like Waterworld reject living in the community pool trying to save mankind is retarded. and hey, if she can see the future, what the hell is she crying about? what's weirder than that though, is how readily the building tenants accept all this nonsense, and how much they try to help instead of calling the Loony Police on Giamatti and Howard's characters. having characters that don't question reality alienates the audience, those of us that pay egregious sums of money for good entertainment. that's why Toni Collette's character was awesome in The Sixth Sense: she was freaked out that her son might be insane. so when Paul Giamatti wakes up in his bed and finds what appears to be a pre-pubescent, half-naked teen staring at him, he should freak out and say, "What the f*** are you doing here and who the f*** are you??!", not "Okay, you can stay a while and why aren't I stuttering?" unbelievable characters, boring and unlikely dialogue, highly questionable mythologies of supposedly Asian origin, and the Standard M. Knight Whirlwind of Act Three Revelations To Wrap Up This Cockamamie Plot, are all reasons why you should not see this movie.

so M., please, go directly to Director Jail and turn yourself in. say hello to Antoine Fuqua and Justin Lin for me. maybe if you don't shiv anyone they'll let you do another Amex spot.
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