Review of Goldfinger

Goldfinger (1964)
2/10
Genuine candidate for "Worst Bond Ever"
9 January 2006
I had a lot of problems with this movie. Let me list them:

1) The number two person in the conspiracy to nuke Fort Knox changes sides and betrays her comrades...because Bond slept with her? Gimme a break. Judging from her personality, she'd be about the last person in the world I'd expect to do such a thing. It's obvious that the writers couldn't think of any way of getting out of the corner they'd written themselves into, so they tossed in a deus ex machina cop-out ending.

2) Bond just doesn't do much of anything in this movie. He spends the last half of the movie sitting in a cell while other characters run around and do things that don't advance the plot one bit. It's boring. I appreciate the fact that he uses his brains to get out of trouble, but he never really "gets out" of trouble, he just turns a bad situation into a slightly less bad one. This is about the only Bond movie where he's so ineffectual, and it makes for a very unentertaining film.

3) Bond allows himself to be captured by the bad guys so that he can go and check on the condition of a woman who got hit with a flying hat? He barely knew her! He gave her a ride to a gas station; that's it. It makes no sense that he'd jeopardize his mission in order to check on the condition of a stranger. What was he going to do, give her CPR? He certainly didn't want to be captured as part of any sort of plan, as he spent the next ten minutes of the movie trying to get away again.

4) Why didn't Goldfinger just kill Bond? He hit the nail right on the head when he said that Bond only knew the name of the operation (blockbuster), but he didn't know any of the details. Then Bond tells him that if he is killed, they'll send another agent. Well, obviously. Goldfinger certainly must have assumed as much. But how would anyone even know if Bond was killed? It was just another poorly thought out scene.

5) Pussy Galore is a really unlikable character. Not only is she just plain homely, but she brags and brags and brags about herself.

6) The ending on the plane felt very tacked on and silly. Are we to believe that a woman and a fat guy overpowered all the soldiers in a military aircraft hanger and stole a plane right out from under their noses?

Oh, there are a few good things about the movie. The Swiss Alps are beautiful, even in Summer. The car is really cool. And of course the theme song is fantastic.

Overall, this is easily the worst Connery Bond film. Much worse than any Roger Moore or Timothy Dalton or George Lazenby Bond movie. I can't for the life of me understand why people hold it in such high esteem, the writing is just so ridiculously sloppy. I enjoy most of Connery's other Bond films, but this thing sticks out like a big, stinky sore thumb.
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