1/10
Insulting To Nearly Everyone in and out of Utah
30 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
As one who was born and grew up in Salt Lake City (and a *former* mormon), I know my way around the mormon shtick. I received this movie as a Christmas gift and, against my better judgement, was pressured into actually watching it by my friends who were certain it would prove another fine entry in our "bad movie night" lineup. Sadly, they were all disappointed, and I was not surprised. Onward...

The plot (such as it is) concerns a Jersey mobster who is being stepped over for promotion in the "organization". He then botches up a kidnapping, is caught, and enters the witness protection program after ratting out his boss to the law. He and his family (wife and son) are then shipped to Utah amongst the mormons.

"And then rampant hilarity ensues..." is probably what most people watching this film are expecting next. Rather, I sat in a perpetual state of boredom as one poorly formed gag followed another. Writer/ Director John Moyer presents his viewers with every tired and clichéd stereotype associated with mormons and non-mormons alike. He successfully manages to insult mormons, non- mormons, New Jerseyites, Italians, catholics, and especially Utahans in general. It's clear that was not his intent, as this is a "family film" but it is certainly how his movie comes across. Non- mormons are universally portrayed as little better than mannerless, valueless barbarians, fresh out of the cave. Perhaps worse, mormons are represented as a quaint folk, content in their (exaggerated) ignorance of the world at large. Personally I chalk it up to his dubious writing talent, and blatant lack of originality.

However for all its faults, "Mobsters and Mormons" is not a propaganda film. Let that sink in for a minute. Moyer certainly makes it known what makes a mormon, and even goes so far as working LDS belief structures into the dialogue. (SMALL SPOILER FOLLOWS) But to his credit he steers clear of actually converting our mobster Jersey family to "the Church" and in the end, our Jersey family learns to appreciate LDS values while remaining happily catholic. So while he has created a movie with little plot, vapid characters, tired clichés, forced humor, and insulting stereotypes he does not go overboard on trying to bring his audience into the fold, and does show that tolerance and understanding are possible even between an ex-shyster and a mormon bishop. Kudos on that point; unfortunately this movie is distributed (essentially) by the LDS Church, and they make sure to package propaganda for other "mormon friendly" movies with this DVD. I feel better simply giving Moyer the benefit of the doubt on this one, since he probably had little say in the distribution details. I digress....

I cannot recommend "Mobsters and Mormons" to anyone, even as family film filler. Besides setting the world's perception of Utah back several years, it just simply is not entertaining and that (ultimately) is what movies are about: entertainment. It offers absolutely nothing to the 10-and-under crowd, and teenagers would rather eat glass than watch a film this dull. Parents will be bored to tears with the inane story and poor humor. Not all is lost though; a relation of mine (78 years old) described it as, "a nice movie". Take that as you will.
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