Review of Wrong Turn

Wrong Turn (I) (2003)
1/10
Completely Original, except that it is a rip off of Texas Chainsaw Massacre
20 October 2005
You know, I love the story about how a group of teenagers are hunted by a family of psychopath's hell bent on killing each one of them. As each kid continues to buy it the tension builds and you don't know what's going to happen until the climatic ending. Boy the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was an entertaining movie, but if you want to see a cheap, poorly made, imitation that sucks as much as the female actress breasts bounce in their t-shirts, then by all means, get this movie, because it blows.

So this young stud, Chris, played by Desmond Harrington (We Were Soldiers,) is late for a meeting and there is a huge accident on the highway, so he back tracks and goes down this dirt road in bum-f*cked West Virginia where he runs into, literally, a van full of young adults, led by the unexplainable single Jessie, played by Eliza Dushku (True Lies,) looking for sex and fun. So when they discover that the road was booby trapped by someone, four of the six, go looking for help, while the remaining red shirts, I am sorry, I mean teenagers, stay with the cars to both die violently. So then the remaining four discover that they are being hunted by crazed killer and run around trying to escape and end up all dying except the main two characters.

This movie is a complete rip-off of TCM. The amazing thing is that this movie came out in the same year that the remake of TCM was released. Movie monster and make-up genius Stan Winston produced this movie and for the life of me I don't know why. There is nothing original about this movie, the mountain men are poor excuses for 'monsters,' the actors, with the exception of Dushku, were bottom of the barrel, obviously collecting a paycheck and getting experience.

I have a warm spot for Eliza, she was in one of my favorite TV shows, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, plus she was in a movie with Arnold (that's Schwarzenegger) and she does have some skill. But this was just the wrong movie for her to be in, plus lets face it, she has a beautiful face and a hot body with some athletic skill and that is why she was cast in this movie. Hopefully she will get something better in the future.

Director Rob Schmidt was completely over his head in the direction. The lighting was often off and he over-used every scare tactic that was beaten to death by the endless supply of Friday the 13th movies. Since he has done nothing since, lets hope he is a car salesman in Minot, North Dakota.

Nothing much more to say, avoid this movie at all costs. I have watched Disney movies that were more thrilling and Jane Austin movies with more suspense. The DVD is even boring and the commentary is so bad, it seemed that the actors and director were bored also. Note to DVD makers, when doing commentary for movies, don't have large gaps of silence in the commentary, it makes bad movies even worse when you can't here it. To punish myself for renting this, I am going to get circumcised by a blind doctor who is shell shocked while playing the 1812 overture in his ear. **This review and others can be read at www.bbmc.dockratent.com**
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