Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005 Video)
3/10
A fine example of how not to tell a story
21 September 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I really wanted to like this. After five bad sequels of a potentially likable franchise had passed, I had hopes that somewhere along the line, someone actually cared.

The biggest problem with this film is the script, or at least how it turned out on film. The story is SUPPOSED to be a mystery, but it's not.

In a mystery, the audience has one big question and a few smaller questions that drive our attention from scene to scene, in hopes of finding out the answers to those burning questions. In the case of Hellworld, we're given no clue as to what question we're supposed to be asking, except to ask, "what question are we supposed to be asking?".

We're in a perpetual state of not knowing what we're supposed to be concerned about until 80 minutes into the film, when instead of revealing the answers to the mystery by making connections in our mind for ourselves, we're dealt a five minute scene of the villain saying, "Let me explain my dastardly plan that's been going on for the last 80 minutes, that you as an audience were completely unaware of, while you watched random scenes that still don't make any sense or have any connection to the plot, even after I've explained it." During the first act, assuming there was one, I was getting a sense that the film was predictable, but I was wrong. You might think that's a good thing, but it's not, because the predictions I made were way better than the actual unfolding. I was teased into thinking there was a chance this might be good.

Pinhead shows up only a few times briefly during the that first 80 minutes, only to do things that his character never does or would do.

The film is full of "red herrings" disguised as important subplots. Subplots are supposed to mean something and have an arc. For instance, Lance Henriksen's party has a system to it, in which the party-attenders wear white masks with a number on their forehead. When a party-attender sees someone whose body they like, they dial their cell number to engage in sexual activities. You would think this mask thing would play into the plot, especially since it's discussed in detail and used throughout the film, but it doesn't do anything except make the audience go, "Hey, that's kind of a neat idea for a party.". Nothing else is done with it. It's one of many wasted opportunities in the story.

The predictable ending comes where Lance Henriksen has to face Pinhead and go to hell. Instead of torturing him and taking him to hell, Pinhead just chops Lance into three pieces for no apparent reason. Then the ghost of Lance appears briefly in the car of the barely known "protagonists" to scare them, also for no apparent reason or logic. The movie closes on police finding the bloody room where Lance got chopped up and we see the puzzle box on the floor and we stare at it for about 10 seconds........also for no apparent reason, as loud, awful and completely out of place rock music plays over the end.

On a technical level, this film was obviously shot in a hurry. There's never a single noteworthy shot in the film. No angles that were carefully chosen. No artsy one-point perspectives to make it feel like religion was a topic of the film. Just mostly regular 3/4 angle point-and-shoot. The editing work does not belong in feature films. I don't know if it was the editor or the director making this decision, but the film is chock full of MTV music video time-jumps and aperture flashes that don't do ANYTHING significant. In fact, even if there was a good story, these flashy techniques would pull you right out of the film because all you can think about are the "clever" editing techniques.

Still, this is way better than "Urban Legends 3".

3/10
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