I saw Sin City back when it came out on April 1st. It was a nice day. Birds were chirping, children skipping in the streets, old people sipping tea and reading the newspaper in their rocking chairs, and everyone had a smile on their face
.but who gives a crap if that really happened? I sure as hell wouldn't, because on April 1st, Sin City came out, and as far as I was concerned, nothing else mattered. That's right, peoples. This movie rules so much ass, that if you saw it one day, and when you came home, you found out that a bomb of s*** landed on your house, you wouldn't care one bit
.because you saw the orgasm-inducing Sin City.
Let me start first with bad-ass aspect number 1: The look. Just by watching pieces of the trailer, you can already tell that this movie will basically make your eyes orgasm. Instead of having a basic color scheme like every other movie these days, this movie is all black and white with little splashes of color here and there. This is probably the coolest looking movie on Earth. It eats every other movie for breakfast and s***s it out an hour later.
Bad-ass aspect number 2: The characters. The characters in this movie are so cool that you'll almost feel bad because people in real life can't pull of what some of these characters do. Example: (spoiler, for anyone who cares) Marv (Mickey Rourke) is in and electric chair. While the Priest is babbling on, he tells him something like "I haven't got all night." They pull the switch, he's gets electrocuted, then they stop the voltage. Bleeding from the mouth, he raises his head, and says, "Is that all you got, you pansies?" Then they electrocute him again! This character is so bad-ass that it took not one but TWO tries to finally kill him. Elijah Wood stars as Kevin, a messed up, psychotic religious dude who never talks, and never changes his facial expression. The fight between him and Marv kicks-ass, plain and simple. Nick Stahl plays as Yellow Bastard, a guy who looked normal once, but after getting a couple bullets in his package and various other places, he turns yellow because of the treatments he receives. This character stands out in the movie because he's yellow. That's all you need to know. He's weird lookin', he's crazy, and the fate of his character is brutal and harsh, which brings me to my next point:
Bad-ass aspect number 3: The relentless violence. Everywhere you look in this movie, blood, gore, bones, decapitations, explosions, everything you could want in an action movie. The characters often beat one another to death, sometimes with weapons, sometimes with guns, and sometimes with their bare hands. This might offend some people, but who cares? This is movie violence at it's absolute sickest and best. I know what's going on. I know that if you haven't seen this movie yet, and you're somehow still reading this, you're asking, "But dude, everything you've explained is so bad-ass as it is. How the hell can it get any better? It's not possible." It's possible. The fun doesn't stop at the violence, which brings me to my next point
Bad-ass aspect number 4: Hot actresses. This movie is full of them. Jessica Alba, Brittany Murphy, Rosario Dawson, Jamie King, Alexis Bledel, the list goes on. Never before have I seen a movie look absolutely cool, have kick-ass characters, relentless violence and nonstop action, and a horde of hot women. You can't watch this and think it's bad. It's just not possible.
Sin City is one of the most bad-ass movies of this year. Believe me. All of your senses will have gushing orgasms, especially your eyes. It's so bad-ass, it doesn't even need any Gwar tunes, and readers, a movie has to be really bad-ass to not need any Gwar tunes.
Score: 10
Let me start first with bad-ass aspect number 1: The look. Just by watching pieces of the trailer, you can already tell that this movie will basically make your eyes orgasm. Instead of having a basic color scheme like every other movie these days, this movie is all black and white with little splashes of color here and there. This is probably the coolest looking movie on Earth. It eats every other movie for breakfast and s***s it out an hour later.
Bad-ass aspect number 2: The characters. The characters in this movie are so cool that you'll almost feel bad because people in real life can't pull of what some of these characters do. Example: (spoiler, for anyone who cares) Marv (Mickey Rourke) is in and electric chair. While the Priest is babbling on, he tells him something like "I haven't got all night." They pull the switch, he's gets electrocuted, then they stop the voltage. Bleeding from the mouth, he raises his head, and says, "Is that all you got, you pansies?" Then they electrocute him again! This character is so bad-ass that it took not one but TWO tries to finally kill him. Elijah Wood stars as Kevin, a messed up, psychotic religious dude who never talks, and never changes his facial expression. The fight between him and Marv kicks-ass, plain and simple. Nick Stahl plays as Yellow Bastard, a guy who looked normal once, but after getting a couple bullets in his package and various other places, he turns yellow because of the treatments he receives. This character stands out in the movie because he's yellow. That's all you need to know. He's weird lookin', he's crazy, and the fate of his character is brutal and harsh, which brings me to my next point:
Bad-ass aspect number 3: The relentless violence. Everywhere you look in this movie, blood, gore, bones, decapitations, explosions, everything you could want in an action movie. The characters often beat one another to death, sometimes with weapons, sometimes with guns, and sometimes with their bare hands. This might offend some people, but who cares? This is movie violence at it's absolute sickest and best. I know what's going on. I know that if you haven't seen this movie yet, and you're somehow still reading this, you're asking, "But dude, everything you've explained is so bad-ass as it is. How the hell can it get any better? It's not possible." It's possible. The fun doesn't stop at the violence, which brings me to my next point
Bad-ass aspect number 4: Hot actresses. This movie is full of them. Jessica Alba, Brittany Murphy, Rosario Dawson, Jamie King, Alexis Bledel, the list goes on. Never before have I seen a movie look absolutely cool, have kick-ass characters, relentless violence and nonstop action, and a horde of hot women. You can't watch this and think it's bad. It's just not possible.
Sin City is one of the most bad-ass movies of this year. Believe me. All of your senses will have gushing orgasms, especially your eyes. It's so bad-ass, it doesn't even need any Gwar tunes, and readers, a movie has to be really bad-ass to not need any Gwar tunes.
Score: 10