This movie is pathetic. With that out of the way, I'll continue on to explain why. After about fifteen minutes of watching this movie, the only thing I wanted to do was punch that stupid goth girl in the face. Some of the scenes where she describes her plot drag on, and on, and on. Had there been fewer of these character exposition scenes, or had they been shorter and more dispersed, I might not be as upset with them. The goth girl just had this way of speaking that was excruciatingly repetitive, and made her very hard to listen to for more than two minutes at a time. The movie introduces many characters and gives them varying amounts of lines, only to have them die or leave within minutes, making me really wonder why they were included to begin with. The only worthwhile moment in this entire film is when it makes reference to a movie called "666 Demon Child," which is perhaps the only movie I have ever seen that is worse than this filth. All of this leads me to the final point, Anubis. HE IS THE MOST PATHETIC MONSTER I HAVE EVER SEEN. Now, I have seen zombies move faster, hit harder, and be more frightening than this pathetic fop. Anubis is supposed to be a god made flesh, but he ends up acting more like a middle aged man, unable to do much of anything unless his victims are standing still or making a pathetic attempt at fighting back. He has the trademark sickle, which thankfully he makes good use of occasionally, but he is beaten back by a teenage boy wielding a rock. A rock beats an Egyptian god. He runs like a drunk and while he withstands being chopped with a machete, the rock frightens him into retreating. Perhaps it was blessed. Or, perhaps this movie is a giant crock of festering crap. There is nothing I enjoy more than a low budget movie that makes me laugh. This movie makes me cry.
Ancient Evil 2: Guardian of the Underworld
(2005 Video)
The most pathetic god ever made flesh.
11 June 2005