Review of Pilot

Kojak: Pilot (2005)
Season 1, Episode 1
2/10
Doesn't stack up
12 May 2005
I started watching re-runs of Law and Order on USA about the same time Kojak started to air, and I think it's safe to say that as cheesy as Law and Order can get from time to time, it beats Kojak by a mile. With the former, there is at least lip service given to trying to break the typical mold for a cop drama. However, with Kojak I am hesitant to call anything that happens a "plot twist" as any so-called plot reveal can be seen coming from a mile away. This show is nothing short of a caricature of the generic cop drama, and therefor Hollywood's interpretation of what it takes to make a cop seem "bad" and "a renegade." I think it's a shame that the show's writers stoop to such lows to hammer home over and over that Kojak's a cop on the edge, willing to do whatever it takes to bring the bad man in, blah blah blah. This phony macho tough guy cop stuff is more overused than fart jokes on South Park, only in this case without the attached ironic humor.

It's hard to like a show that panders to the lowest common denominator of cop show watcher so quickly in its run, especially when within five episodes the chief is already engulfed in a crime mystery. That kind of lame sweeps-week cop-out (I better copyright this stupid pun before the Kojak writers see it) doesn't usually surface in a series's long journey to the middle until their ratings take a nose-dive, seeing as how ridiculous and pathetic it is as a basis for an episode's plot. Just watching the 'african-american boy from hard times trying to make it in the white man's world while being pressured to become a hoodlum" or the "he's a deadly sniper who'll kill you in a second but he's got a family and a split personality that includes a heart of gold" was enough to make me want to vomit and laugh at the same time, sort of a yuk-yak (back of Kojak, this one's mine too). Not only are these ludicrous ideas completely moronic, but they're done in such a heavy-handed way that there's no possible way to salvage any ability to be watched.

I gave you five episodes Kojak. Congratulations, I can't watch any more. Good luck Ving when you inevitably return to the small-part tough guy roles in summer flicks you are destined to play.
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