Review of Torque

Torque (2004)
1/10
Physically Enduring to Watch
26 February 2005
There are bad movies and then there are painful movies. Then there's Torque which very well may have defined a new term of "bad".

For those previous comments who argue that this is a B-Movie and that viewers should "lighten up" - you need to look up your definitions. A B movie is low budget. This was obviously not low budget. I would have to lighten up to the degree of being an overexposed photograph of the kid from Powder to even watch another minute of this film again.

There is something about cult or campy flicks that is difficult to explain. On paper or at face value a campy movie can be bad but there's a sense of "fun" in it. You can watch Faster Pussycat Kill Kill and think that they actually had fun filming it AND screening it. You watch Torque and you think that on day 33 of the shoot it must have been painful beyond belief for the crew to answer their alarm clocks.

Torque doesn't work in ANY labeling of film. It isn't low budget. It doesn't feel campy. It isn't even funny bad. Unless the real life actors are complete idiots in real life they must have been downright embarrassed by this. It paid their bills though.

There is ZIP for any sort of conversation that even mildly could be construed as entertaining. The editing is a total MTV hyperkenetic ADD disaster. The stunts are neither even remotely plausible or interesting. The love interest scenario was as cliché as possible. Ice Cube couldn't act his way out of a styrofoam cup in any movie previously and it still shows.

I feel that this movie was literally a physical challenge to watch. Around the midway point I felt like I had just free climbed Devil's Tower. Perhaps I lost a few years of my life from the physical exhaustion this movie delivered to my body.

On the upside though - I feel like after having watched this movie I could watch any 9 hour insurance seminar without batting an eye. After viewing Torque, I would rather watch someone trying to start their lawn mower for 3 hours on local access cable.
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