2/10
Attack Of The Killer Clichés
30 October 2004
I vaguely remember the trailers for LONG TIME DEAD and recall it did fairly poorly in cinema tickets and rental sales . I thought because it was released in the same year as two other very well regarded British horror movies , one featuring a squad of British soldiers as good guys fighting a bunch of werewolves and the other featuring a squad of British soldiers as bad guys battling against crypto zombies , that LONG TIME DEAD may have got lost in the market place but after finally seeing it I doubt if the merits of DOG SOLDIERS and 28 DAYS LATER had anything to do with its failure - The reason it bombed is that it's a rather poor horror movie

First of all can we please stop seeing movies where horny , drug taking teenagers get stalked and slashed . I had become very fed up by this plot by the early 1980s and it stopped being a good premise 20 years ago . Okay SCREAM and FINAL DESTINATION used the same plot but the producers at least tried to do something a little bit different with the plot where as in this movie it's just well worn cliché as is the set up with a ouija board

Okay I'm in a generous mood so I won't put the boot into director because it's a debut and I imagine Marcus Adams had a lot of enjoyment shooting the picture and it is fairly stylish . I should also point out that there is a not unimpressive sequence where two characters enter a house only for them to come to a sticky end . Unfortunately Mr Adams also wrote the screenplay and it's this that is the film's undoing

I'm not much of a horror fan and though I enjoyed the 2002 releases where the British Army let off a few shots at monsters in abandoned houses there's little in this movie to recommend unless you're a horror movie addict
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